Locked and Loaded
by xo Astral Love
Summary: Everyone knows my name. Everyone hates me. Oh, and every girl is jealous of me. Wanna know why? I'm best friends with THE Shane Grey. Oh and I live with Connect 3. Get the picture yet? Smitchie.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note - **Okay so this is my first canon characters only Camp Rock fanfiction and I'm so totally psyched about the idea for it. I know the prologue is short but I promise for those who read this and comment, it gets better! I just wanted to give a basic set up for what is to come, maybe catch an interest or two and see if you guys like the idea for it. Anyways, leave me your thoughts!

**Disclaimer - **I don't own Camp Rock. If I did, do you think I would be writing this?

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Prologue**

**xoxo**

Everyone knows who I am and knows my name like the back of their hand.

Everyone hates me for exactly that same reason.

Every girl is jealous of me for that same reason as well.

Sound conceited yet? Oh just wait, it gets better. Let me give you the list of reasons as to why I say these things.

1. My name is Mitchie Torres. If you know who I am, then you know the other three.

2. I'm sixteen years old and turning seventeen. Can you say car and senior year?

3. I'm best friends with THE Shane Gray. If you don't know who he is, go bury your head in the dirt because you've made your home there already as it is.

I think that… oh wait, here comes my favorite.

4. I live with Connect 3.

You getting the picture yet?

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Okay, I know it's seriously short. But bare with me? I'm going to see about getting the first chapter written as soon as possible after I move into my new apartment tomorrow. Leave me some thoughts! Bye guys!


	2. Chapter One

**Author`s Note : **Wow. That's all I can really say right now because just wow. I'm amazed at the response I got to the story. Eee! Six reviews, two faves, and nineteen alerts!? Seriously!? I love you guys! Thank you to everyone! I'll be sending you guys private messages and responding to reviews after this. But thank you, thank you, thank you! 3 So who's ready for chapter one!?

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Camp Rock, but the song lyrics are my own.

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter One**

**xoxo  
**

May 19th, 2009

"_Oh darling, hold on tight, hold on tight.__  
Just cling for dear life with all of your might.__  
He's stealing your breath, thieving your soul  
Threatening to seize your heart whole."_

People try to tell me all the time that I'm nothing special. Want to know what I say to them when they point that out to me? "Tell me something that isn't quite so obvious." Queue rolling my eyes and walking away. Seriously, do they think I'm blind or conceited or something? Because I'm not. I know I'm not special. Whenever people do that, I seriously just want to stare at them and then smile real big and go, "Hi! My name's Mitchie and I seriously don't know anything about myself! Can you point out everything that you? Starting with the most obvious?" I mean, I might as well considering that's basically what they're doing already. Some people actually act like it's my fault that I'm famous for doing nothing.

Seriously though, it isn't. It's the damn paparazzi and anyone with two eyes and a brain who knows that two plus two equals four would realize that. At least I would hope so.

If not, then I hate to break it to you, but I think the world might just be doomed to the major times ten squared.

"_Don't hesitate and don't fall for that charm__  
All you'll find is a shattered mirror reflecting harm.__  
So place up the guards and barricade your heart.  
Before he comes and brick by brick tears you apart."_

To be honest, if Connect 3 hadn't lived right next door to me when they moved to Texas right before Nate was born and then stayed for the first seven years of their life, I probably wouldn't be where I am now. Hell, if I had been born any other girl, I wouldn't be where I am now. It's all thanks to that day at the hospital when my mom was bringing me in for a check up and ran into Nate's mom who was just getting released, holding a small cute little baby. What happens when moms see other moms? They have to stop and chat and become insta best friends. At least, that's what happens with our moms apparently. They've been the bane of our existence since we first discovered they were sharing our diaper day pictures with anyone who came over - including our friends. Insert shudder moment.

But that's okay because Nate is like a brother I never had. He's a heck of a lot better then the two sisters I got graced with. So are Jason and Shane. My sisters wouldn't be so bad if one of them wasn't eight and spoke in half English and Spanish and the other was a cool twenty year old instead of one that likes to sing My Achy Breaky Heart over and over again. At four in the morning. With the song blaring in MY room. Yeah, I think you can tell that we already don't get along that well. Meanwhile, the guys are totally rad. We just sit around and chill out while listening to music or else we play games and just…act like brothers. Okay, weird for me to say that but it's true. I'm basically one of the guys. No worrying about annoying country songs or trying to translate words, just us and the music and the games and the comfortable companionship.

Sigh. Just thinking about that makes me miss them.

"_Oh, you poor little angel with big brown eyes.__  
What happened to that statue carved from ice?__  
How could you let him come along and melt you away?  
Baby girl, don't let him lead your astray._

"_You sad small girl with Hershey's chocolate hair.__  
Promise me you won't let him lift your hopes in the air.__  
All you'll get for granting that evil man your affection  
Is a broken heart and yearning for long forgot attention."_

So let me spell it out in simpler terms:

I'm famous by association because I'm childhood best friends with all of Connect 3 and I might as well be another part of their family. When they first got signed, I was supposed to be kept secret because my mom and dad were all like, "No, our little girl will get eaten alive by them mean ole nasty reporters and journalists and the like!" But of course, anyone who knows Jason knows that he can't keep a secret for two cents. So day after they get signed and they get interviewed, guess who's name gets mentioned? Mine! So ever since then, my name has gone hand in hand with the last name Grey. So people know me for that. Oh and they also know me because I live with them. How'd that happen? Easy, it was either London or New York.

I think you can easily pick out which one I chose. It was either my boys or my sisters. Of course it's going to be my boys! Who would pick a stinky bed wetting eight year old and a twenty year old who sounds like a cat in heat over Connect 3? No one in their right mind, let me tell you!

…And that really wasn't much simpler. Okay here goes.

I've known Nate, Shane, and Jason since before I started school. I'm like family to them. My family lives in London so I moved in with them so I could stay here. I'm only famous because Jason mentioned that I was friends with them.

And there you have it, folks, that's why I'm famous. And why every girl hates me because I live with and have known the three hottest guys in all of America for the past decade plus of my life. Jeez, aren't I so lucky?

"_Oh darling, just hold on to your little glass box.  
__Lock away those imagined late night talks.__  
Put away the day dreamed kisses and hugs.__  
Swallow it down before he comes and mugs it away.  
Oh honey…don't let him steal you from me."_

Let me tell you one thing though, living with them. Oh boy, it is not normal. For me it is, but how about I introduce you to the world of Connect 3 and let you walk in my shoes for a little bit? Well wait! I'm already doing that!

So let me be the first to say, welcome to my life and the blog that tells you everything and anything about what's going on it! But all right, guys, I gotta get going. School's almost out - finally, government class felt like it was going to go on forever - so I need to go ahead and get ready to dash for the limousine. You would think after a few times of it being seen, people wouldn't freak out anymore. But those teen girls who want to see the boys never get tired of chasing it or trying to mob me to hold me hostage. It's suckage.

Hey that rhymes!

**xoxo**

"Seriously, Mitchie, could you detach yourself from that thing for more then…I don't know, five seconds so I can tell you about my day?" My head shot up as my dark brown eyes focused on the face of my best friend Sierra Monroe. She was glaring at me for what felt like the umpteenth time that day and I gave a small apologetic smile as she placed her hand on my laptop and shut it just right after I managed to click submit for my myspace blog. "Seriously, Mi, pay attention to me." Normally she wasn't like this but even I had to admit that I was being an ignore all around me, focus on computer nerdo to the extreme today. It almost made me feel bad. Maybe just a little. Yeah, a small bit.

My smile grew bigger as I shot her a glance with an apologetic look on my face. "Sorryyyy. I didn't mean to push you to the side or freeze you like the iceberg that hit the Titanic today. I just…" I dared a glance at the other students who were slowly gathering their items as they blinked sleepily. Motioning for her to lean closer, I slipped my laptop into its carrier case as she rolled her eyes before tilting her head in a "listening" position. "Jake asked me to write a blog about what it's like living with the boys."

Almost immediately her hands were slamming down on her desk and she was looking at me with a wide eyed look while yelping her surprise in the form of, "WHAT!?" I winced as the other students in the room turned to stare at us and I glared at her before waving my hand up and down telling her to be quiet. Sierra had the modesty to blush before shaking her head and giving a sheepish grin. "What!? Are you being serious? That's huge."

Her reaction only caused me to roll my eyes as I stood and straightened the bottom of my red tunic blouse. "Oh whatever. It's not that big. It's just to give the band a bit more publicity and focus on the fact that they're normal every day people who just happen to have people obsessing over them."

"Oh please, like that's normal." I smirked at Sierra's words as we pushed out into the hallway and started elbowing our way through the masses of teenagers excited for the second to last day of school. I think I might have been one of the only people who honestly could have cared less that we were about to have the entire summer free. Mainly because I wasn't going to. Babysitting the boys is a full time job and school is my vacation and escape from it. I love the boys but they can get obnoxious sometimes. "Ready for the mad dash to our ride?"

I raised one eyebrow as I peered out past the doorway that led outside. "We do this every day of our lives, like we have been doing since two years ago. You would think that the girls around here would get used to seeing this." Both of us shared a look before I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "Ready as I'll ever be." And with that, we pushed our way through the double doors that led outside and straight into the waiting sea of girls that immediately started screaming.

And no, they weren't screaming for us. We were just their sign to start screeching like banshees because that meant they might catch a glimpse of Nate, Shane, or Jason.

Do you know what it's like trying to make your way through a crowd of screaming fans? Especially ones that are your age or younger who are jumping up and down and crying hysterically or else just doing one of those? And don't even get me started on the ones that hold those signs that say I LOVE YOU. And sometimes MARRY ME from women who are old enough to be our mothers or grandmothers. I feel bad for their kids, that has got to be the most embarrassing thing ever.

"Ow!" Sierra was glowering as she elbowed a girl in the side and we started to make a path through the girls. The girl whipped around and glared at her before humphing and going back to crying out something about Shane. "Do these people honestly have nothing better to do with their time?"

It caused me to laugh as I slid between two girls and grabbed Si's hand, pulling her through right before they went back to bumping hips with one another while singing Burnin' Up. "If you count drooling over Shane's face as something better to do, then yeah, they do. They just choose to not do that." We both laughed as we saw the limo door open and Brad step out of the stretch vehicle. "Brad!" The only thing the large security guard did was nod as he blocked the door from the mobs of girls at the front who were now crying and screaming garble at the top of their lungs.

"Mitch! Hurry up!" Shane's perfectly styled head had popped out from the top of the limousine through the window and he wore a look of impatience as we made our way toward them slowly. He was wearing aviator sunglasses that took up half his face and if it weren't for the fact that he was the only one out of them that had straight black hair - well black hair period - you wouldn't have been able to recognize him.

Except for the fact that along the gray tuxedo jacket he wore, the name Grey was emblazoned in silver threading that glistened with diamonds.

"Ugh. Please tell me he's not wearing that jacket. Again." Sierra groaned as we finally got within arms length of Brad. The man didn't immediately pull us in though and we had to fight our way through the last bit of girls. But I couldn't help but agree with Sierra inaudibly. This meant no after school lunch.

Again.

For the third time this week.

My stomach protested at the thought and I scowled and pouted. "Hey!" I didn't have time to dwell in my sorrow at the thought of no Jason's Deli when I felt hands grabbing at my backpack and I turned around to see a thirteen year old girl crying her heart out and crying out, "I love you, Shane!" I didn't even bother to say anything back as I growled and yanked my backpack away before slipping under Brad's arm and into the safety of the limo.

"Took you long enough, jeez. What were you and Sierra doing? Gabbing with Caitlyn?" Shane was huffing in his corner of the limo, his leg stretched out across the seat and his arms crossed over his chest. Would it be a bad thing to say that I wanted to smack the pout right off of his pretty little face? I'm being serious.

"Ignore him. He's in one of his moods. Speaking of Caity…where is she?" Nate had scooted over for me to sit down beside him since Shane was taking up the entire backseat of the limo. I plopped down beside him and dropped my backpack to the ground as Brad climbed into the car and shut the door. My shoulders raised in a shrug as Jason read my mind and handed me a banana which I gratefully took and bit into skin and all before moaning my gratefulness.

"Mi, you should seriously consider peeling it next time. You look uglier then usual when you don't do that. Cause the skin sticks out of your teeth and just, it's all ew." Shane shuddered as I glared at him before baring my teeth to show the strands of skin that were stuck between my teeth. "That's so gross!"

"Your face is gross, Grey. Now shut it and let me eat in peace."

Welcome to a typical day in my life as Shane Grey's best friend.

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Soooo, yeah. I'll be honest, I did not like this chapter. I went back through and rewrote it and rewrote it. But the ending part of it was just so hard for me to write for some reason. I have no idea why either. But oh well. it will get better I promise you! In chapter two, there's going to be a closer look at how the boys and Mitchie react with one another. In fact, right now, I'll include a teaser! ;D How does that sound? Don't forget to review!

**xoxo**

_**Teaser**_

_"First comes loves, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. But that's not all, that's not all! Here comes Shane singing -" _

_"R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!" I couldn't stop laughing as Shane held up his hairbrush and starting singing Respect by Aretha Franklin into it as if he were on American Idol or on stage. His eyes were screwed shut and his mouth wide open as if he were crying or screaming and the sight was just hilarious. Seriously, I don't know how to describe it. It's one of those Kodak moments. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Who knows that means to Shane?" I scoffed at his horrible ad libbing and he directed a glare my way as I rolled my eyes and shook my head._

_"Ooo, ooo I know!" Nate was jumping up and down beside the kitchen island, his hand raised high in the air with a look of excitement and glee on his face. "Pick me! Pick me!"_

_"And let's go with the curly haired kid beside the toaster. For one hundred points, what is respect to Shane?" Shane's face had grown serious as he spoke into his brush some more and his voice had deepened as he pretended to be a talkshow host. I was giggling insanely at this point and Sierra was just shaking her head as she watched Jason slap his hands over his mouth to keep himself from blurting out the answer._

_Not that there was one._

_Just as Nate was about to open his mouth to say something, Jason blurted out his answer. "It means saying his hair is shiny and not touching his straightener or waking him up in the morning or saying anything wrong to him and making sure you give him everything he wants and not to mock him when he goes, 'Do you know who I am!? I am THE Shane Grey." _

_"JAY! Take that back! That is so not true!" Shane was gaping at his older brother and was stamping his foot like a five year old._

_"Is too!"_

_"Is not!"_

_"Is too!"_

_"IS NOT! I'm going to kill you if you don't take it back!" _

_"Sorry, no take backs!"_

_And with those words from Jason, he went running from the room with a very red faced Shane after him and Nate just sat at the counter pouting as we listened to laughter and shouts fill the apartment as the pop star and guitarist ran from room to room. Sierra had broken down in laughter and I was followed closely behind her as we clung to each other._

_I don't think tact was even Jason's strong point._

_"That was what I was going to say..." And with those words, Nate slunk lower in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest like a kid who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  
_


	3. Chapter Two

**Author's Note: **So another resounding wow from me at this point. Haha, to be honest, I didn't think that the story was going to get that much of a response. But sure enough, where do we sit now? Twelve reviews later, five favorite stories later, and twenty-five story alerts later, we're at chapter two. I'm glad that you guys are liking it that much. I know I'm having fun writing this and thinking up ideas for it while I'm at work. Thank you soooo much. I've already responded to everyone at this point so let's go ahead and get started with chapter two, shall we? ;D Also, there's a little bit of a surprise at the end of this, so don't forget to read the author's note at the end as well, kay? Kay.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Camp Rock or any of the characters there in. But the lyrics in chapter one are my own!

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_By xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Two**

**xoxo**

Let me state one thing right now.

Life with the boys is never boring.

I know that most of you see how they act in interviews and at concerts and you read the articles on them, but I don't think any fan or regular person really knows exactly what they're like behind the cameras and off stage. Hell, I don't think anyone knows what I'm really like except for the kids at my school and my family and friends. Isn't it amazing how you really don't know a person even though you read about them and stuff?

For example, magazines say that Shane's favorite color is green. Do they state which type? Nope. His favorite shade of green is _lime green._ I think you can imagine what his room looks like.

Don't you just love how you get the bare facts and then you're shocked when you learn the truth?

**xoxo**

"Mitchie! Stop it!"

"No! You say that I look gross, well here I am, big boy!"

"EWWWW! Mitchie!"

"Oh my god, Nate, get a picture of this on your phone!"

"Oh! Good idea, Jase! Sierra, get one with Mi's phone and yours!"

"MITCHIEEEE! They're going to make me look embarrassing to people! Do you know what that will do to my reputation!?"

"Do you think I care? This is what you get for calling me ugly when it's your face that's ugly, Grey!"

Okay, if you're confused right now, you should be. Remember how Shane had been saying that I looked ugly with strands of the banana peel sticking out of my teeth? Yeah, well, he's getting an up close look at exactly how ugly I look.

After he had told me I looked ugly, I had told him that his face was ugly and told him to shut up. Well he started pouting and crossed his arms over his chest like he was some more traumatized six year old who had just gotten grounded. That was when he had made the comment. It had gone a little bit like this

---

"_What was that you just said, Shane?"_

_I had taken another bite of my banana when he had made the comment that had caused my eyes to bulge and me to swallow the chunk of it the wrong way and start choking. If Sierra hadn't been there pounding on my back until the piece of banana had finally gone down and left me coughing, I think I probably would have choked. Now, I was sitting there, glaring at Shane and I could feel the pieces of the banana peel in my mouth itching my inner cheeks but that was okay. I was more worried about figuring out if it was going to be strangling him or slitting his throat while he slept._

"_I didn't say anything, Mi. You're hearing things." Shane was glaring out the window, his face turned away from me and so he didn't notice when I edged closer to him, my face a perfect picture of innocence as I calmly took another bite of my banana._

"_And you're so lying through your teeth, Shay. What did you just say?" Sierra was eyeing me and Nate and Jason were struggling to hold in their laughter as I started to peel the rest of my banana. They didn't know what I was going to do with it but they knew it was not going to be pretty and it was going to be hilarious._

_At least, it wasn't going to be pretty for Shane's hair._

"_Nothing! Gosh, just leave me alone! I didn't say anything. You're hearing things. You know, that's the first sig- OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS IN MY HAIR!?" It had been right when he was about to go off on his rant about that being the first sign of insanity that I had done the dirty. The dirty deed that was now making the pop star bounce up and down in his seat and run his hands through his matted hair. The look of horror on his face when he pulled his hands away and stared down at the gooey mush was hilarious._

"_I have no idea, Shay." I was struggling so badly to keep myself from laughing as he gaped at me in abject horror after he had figured it out._

"_I am going to kill you, Mitchie" The words were growled out by him as I stared innocently at him before I finally let a small laugh out and then another, snorting in the process. _

"_Oh, no, you won't, Shaney-poo." I cooed at him and reached out and swiped my finger through some of the mooshy banana that was in his hands. Popping my finger in my mouth, I sucked it clean before groaning and saying, "Oh, gosh, still delicious."_

"_I wonder if it's as delicious as a knuckle sandwich." His words caused me to scoff and Nate and Jason laughed at the corniness of his remark._

"_Are we in third grade? Cause last time I checked, that was the last time I heard that line." My statement caused the others to burst out in laughter and Shane glared at me before he dove across the limo and grabbed another banana from the basket that sat next to Jason. Barely having enough time to peel it as he dove back towards me, he shoved the thing in my face. I yelped and gasped in shock as my hands came up and my fingers splayed out while my shoulders hunched upwards. I could feel chunks of it slipping down my face and falling into my lap, some even going down my shirt as he laughed and the others just watched in silence. _

_He. Did. Not. Just. Do. That._

"_Now your face is ugly. Hey! We match! Now we're twinnies, Mi!"_

"_Oh, so now I'm ugly, hmm?"_

"_Yeah, just a little bit. I think you might actually look grosser then I- MITCHIE, DON'T!"_

_As he had been saying the words, I had tackled him, rocking the limousine and causing the driver to yell for us to settle down. I had his arms pinned next to his side and he was trying to stretch his head back as he cringed with his eyes glued to my teeth and my banana stained face. My face was mere inches from his as he screamed like a little girl and tried to get me off of him while the others laughed at his expense._

---

And that is what happened and why we are where we are now with Shane crying like a little girl and me torturing him with my banana skin peel strand teeth and my banana stained face.

"Do you like looking in a grosser face then yours, twinnie!? Don't you just love it?" I know I was border lining on cruel. But I didn't care. He deserved it. Little Mister Diva Pop Star needed to be tortured. Maybe then it would get through his thick head that no one honestly cared about his "needs" as he called them.

"No, I don't love it! Mi, stop it! Don't you-"

"Don't you know who I am!? I am THE Shane Grey! Puh-lease. Like I honestly care that you're some diva poop star. Now look at my face, look at it! You like it!? You like it!?" I got so close to his face that I would have been able to lick him if I wanted to and that was what I did as he squeezed his eyes shut and squealed like someone who had just been pinched.

"Aaaaahhhhh!"

I love torturing him.

**xoxo**

After our little incident in the limousine, it had been agreed that both Shane and I could stand to use a shower, especially Shane who had acted like he had been traumatized for life by the banana incident. Who ever thought that he was that stuck up about his looks? He isn't that hot.

And no, I did not just say my best friend is hot so you can go ahead and wipe those thoughts from your mind immediately.

Well maybe not immediately. Go ahead, indulge a little.

It had been with a sigh of relief and with a feeling of utter relaxation that I had stepped out of the steaming bathroom, pulling my hair up into a bun as I went with my bangs hanging down over my forehead and clinging to it in damp strands. Getting that banana out of my clothes and off my skin felt so good. I don't think I'll ever be able to eat another banana.

Ever.

Making my way into the kitchen, I walked into Jason saying something to Shane that caused him to pale especially when he heard me say, "Hey guys, what's up?"

Have you ever had that feeling that you've just walked into a conversation where you were the main topic?

Yeah, that's what this felt like.

"Uhhh…" For the first time in what seemed like ever, Shane was at a loss for words and I just raised my eyebrow in question before I headed for the fridge, moving around the kitchen island that Nate sat at smirking at Shane. Whatever was going on, I didn't want to know. Knowing the boys, it was something retarded and mindless. Or else about a girl that they had seen earlier that day and were thinking about stalking down. Or maybe it was about me.

Okay, yeah, I was kind of curious, I'll admit.

"Uhhh, nothing, Mi! Just hanging, chilling, you know…relaxing. Hey, we're chillaxing!" As I grabbed a Coca-Cola from the fridge and shut the door, I turned around just in time to see the smile that crossed Jason's face as he combined the two words together. Jason was adorable that way. It made you just want to hug him and cuddle him to you and be all dawww you're so cuuuute. Okay that was a bit too girly for me.

"Nice, Jase. You guys mind if I join you in your chillaxing?" A wide smile broke out across my lips as Sierra came into the kitchen, snapping her phone shut as she entered. That smile quickly fell from my face as Shane glanced in a panicked manner towards Jason and Nate, obviously flustered, as if he were pleading for help from them. What in the hell?

"Oh we don't mind." Nate was the one who answered this time and he smirked as he locked eyes with a once again pale Shane and I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit sorry for the boy. Wait…no, that was me being hungry again. "Shane was just telling him about something really interesting that we thought you might like to hear about too."

"Oh no, no, no. Mitchie wouldn't be interested in hearing about it, would you, Mi?" He was begging me to agree wit him but as I saw the desperation, I couldn't help but be curious as I frowned before shaking my head.

"No, actually, I would be interested. What's going on, Shay?" I sat down at the kitchen island beside Nate as Shane stood there opening and closing his mouth like a fish while Sierra leaned against the counter next to Jason. I didn't think I had ever seen him so flustered in a long time. Oh boy, whatever it was that he was hiding from me, _had_ to be good.

"It's no-"

"Shane and someone sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G -"

"Jason, shut up!" The brush that he had been holding the entire time was now being held with a knuckle white grip.

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. But that's not all, that's not all! Here comes Shane singing -"

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!" I couldn't stop laughing as Shane held up his hairbrush and started singing Respect by Aretha Franklin into it as if he were on American Idol or on stage. His eyes were screwed shut and his mouth was wide open as if he were crying or screaming into it and the sight was just hilarious. Seriously, I don't know how to describe it. It's one of those Kodak moments. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Who knows what that means to Shane?" I scoffed at his horrible ad libbing and he directed a glare my way as I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Ooo, ooo, I know!" Nate was jumping up and down beside the kitchen island, his hand raised high in the air with a look of excitement and glee on his face. "Pick me! Pick me!"

"And let's go with the curly haired kid beside the toaster. For one hundred points, what is respect to Shane?" Shane's face had grown serious as he spoke into his brush some more and his voice had deepened as he pretended to be a talk show host. I was giggling insanely at this point and Sierra was just shaking her head as she watched Jason slap his hands over his mouth to keep himself from blurting out the answer.

Not that there was one.

Just as Nate was about to open his mouth to say something, Jason blurted out his answer. "It means saying his hair is shining and not touching his straightener or waking him up in the morning or saying anything wrong to him and making sure you give him everything that he wants and not to mock him when he goes, 'Do you know who I am!? I am THE Shane Grey.'"

"JAY! Take that back! That is so not true!" Shane was gaping at his older brother and was stamping his foot like a five year old.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"IS NOT! I'm going to kill you if you don't take it back!"

"Sorry, no take backs!"

And with those words from Jason, he went running from the room with a very red faced Shane after him and Nate just sat at the counter pouting as we listened to laughter and shouts fill the apartment as the pop star and guitarist ran from room to room. Sierra had broken down in laughter and I had already erupted with it as we clung to each other.

I don't think tact was ever Jason's strong point.

"That was what I was going to say…" And with those words, Nate slunk lower in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest like a kid who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

**xoxo**

After a day like the one we had had, I was exhausted. The boys had been crazier then usual and Caitlyn had shown up not long after the Jason being chased by Shane incident that had ended with them wrestling in the hot tub. For a change, Shane had ended up taking three showers in one day. I don't think he appreciated it much either.

A small giggle escaped me as I remembered it all and then a sigh as I leaned back in the swinging chair on our balcony. The sounds of the city filtered up even this high - thirty-five floors high that is - and it was a peaceful sound to me as I stared out at the lights of the city against the pitch black horizon. I couldn't see any stars but I don't think anyone in New York City ever had. I didn't care. I wasn't one for star watching, just one for the night.

I didn't even jump when I heard the door open behind me and I heard footsteps on the balcony. Nor did I when I felt the swing shift under someone's weight as they sat down beside me. I already knew who it was even before he slid his arm around my shoulders and I scooted closer to him like I did every night. Leaning my head against his shoulder, I relaxed further and shut my eyes for a brief second before opening them. It was in silence that we both stared out at the horizon and just enjoyed each other's presence and the comfort it brought with it.

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Ohmygosh, who could it be!? Well you'll just have to wait until next chapter to find that out. Aren't I such a spoilsport!? Haha. Anyways, I hope you liked it. I know I had a lot of fun imagining the scenes and writing them. Even a few mishaps with soda coming out my nose. Just kidding! But noooow.

So that big thing I was talking about, yeah, it's not going to be for a few chapters, but I need ideas. I need ideas for themes for a party. Something unique and original and just BOOM CAMP ROCKISH. Well Connect 3ish. Something that sounds like they would do it for a party theme. So go ahead and leave me some ideas when you review! Mmkays? Mmkays. Here's the teaser for next chapter! It's not as long as chapter two's teaser, I hate to say, but it's good… I think.

**xoxo**

_**Teaser**_

"_You guys already know what we've been thinking about doing for this upcoming year."_

"_No, we have no idea."_

"_Didn't Mitchie tell you guys? I talked about it with her when I talked to her about the blog."_

"_What blog?"_

'_Mitchie…"_

"_What!? I clearly remember you telling me to not tell them!"_

"_Oi ya yoy. Teenagers…"_


	4. Chapter Three

**Author's Note: **I have to say that I was kind of disappointed. I thought that last chapter would maybe get a few more reviews then it did. I only got three for it. I wanted to wait until tomorrow to start working on chapter three and then the day after to post it to see if I would get any more but... well. I didn't get any at all today while I was relaxing and trying to feel good enough to go into work. So I guess I might not be getting any more. For the thirty plus story alert people though, if you guys could just leave something? It would be appreciated. Seriously. I also need more ideas beyond the one that I have for the party thing. Soooo review!? Please!? I beg you. I'll send you my ear in a box if you do. Or sell you my soul. Everyone loves souls, right? ...Right!? Anyways, here's chapter three!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Camp Rock. I only own the song in the first chapter!

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Three**

**xoxo**

May 20, 2009

Everyone makes mistakes, right?

I mean, none of us are perfect. We're all imperfect. There's a reason why there is the saying, "No one is perfect." At least, I think there is. How many of you guys have made mistakes? All of you, right? Maybe not big ones, maybe only small ones. But still, the point I'm trying to make is that everyone makes mistakes and every one gets forgiven for them sooner or later, even if people say they aren't going to forgive you for one.

Well, I kind of might have made a major boo boo today. Two of them actually. But the first one isn't that big of a deal.

Not many people know this but me and Shane have this habit of…pranking each other. Most people would see the pranks we pull as over the line but for us, nothing is ever over the line or out of boundaries. But I think I might have crossed the line this time. At least according to him. Nate and Jase think it's hilarious and that he deserves it after the humiliation he put me through at school today.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to find out that your best friend cut a hole in the back of your pants so every time you bend over, your underwear shows? Yeah, really embarrassing. Especially when you're wearing a thong and they see _everything. _And before you even ask, it was the only clean pair I had left! It was Shane's turn to do laundry this week and he "forgot" to do it. Personally I think he was waiting for the perfect moment to humiliate me. Ugh, I hate that boy. Oh and he also cut off half my hair. On only one side. So I had to get that fixed at lunch time and I had to wear a bandana today.

I might not be a fashion guru, but even I know that bandanas went out of style ten years ago.

So low and behold, when I got home from school at one this afternoon, the pop star jerk was still sleeping. What do I do? What any sane person would do. I grab a permanent marker and start doodling all over his face. But that's not good enough for me. He can get that off or have the make up artists find some way to cover it.

So I call a conference with Caitlyn, Sierra, Nate, and Jay. They helped me come up with this idea so I'm not to be blamed for what I did! Well…they kind of did. Sierra and Caitlyn did. Nate and Jay just agreed with it. Either way though, the idea was planted in my head so therefore I claim brainwashing!

I shaved the back of his head, the top part of it. He didn't even notice while he was sleeping. It was great seeing his face when he scratched his head after two hours of being awake and realized hair was missing. Do you know how epic that type of look is? But I don't think either him or Jake were too happy with it. Especially not Jake. Ugh.

But the idea was planted in my head, I swear. I claim brainwashing!

Hey…that actually might work…

**xoxo**

"Mitchie, you said you would tell them! The press conference is in less then two hours. How are we supposed to get them prepped on what to say before then?"

Who hates being yelled at? I hate being yelled at. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Not even my parents ever got away with yelling at me. But that was because I was the good child. Not the screw up like Dallas is and definitely not the hyper active trouble maker that Madison is either. But what was happening right then and there? I was getting yelled at and despising every minute of it.

I scowled at Jake as I stared past him out his office window. I knew I wasn't supposed to answer that question for him but I couldn't help but make a sarcastic little remark. "Just get Shane to do all the talking. He's got some amazing adlibbing skills. Oh gosh, you should have seen him yesterday, Jake. He was tearing Respect a new one with those skills of his. It was amazing." Every word dripped with sarcasm and the look that Jake gave me showed that he hadn't wanted to hear that but all I could do was give a tight lipped sardonic smile. What did he expect me to do? Just sit there and take it? For crying out loud, I'm a sixteen year old who lives with three teenage pop stars who act like their twelve and going through puberty all over again! A girl can only take so much.

"Mitchie." The way he said my name was meant as a warning and I should have done the smart thing and kept my mouth shut. But has Mitchie Torres ever been known for self control? Nope. I have little to no self control. It's actually gotten me into quite a few scraps in the past.

"What do you want from me, Jake? I babysit them all the time for you. And it isn't working that well. You want to know what Shane did this morning? He cut a hole in my jeans after "forgetting" to do the laundry this week so all I had left to wear was a thong for underwear. When I bent over, everyone saw ev-er-ee-th-ang. That was humiliating." I had been sitting in the chair across from him, just sitting there taking it but now as I started off on my rant, I stood up and started pacing like he had been doing. "Oh, and he cut off like three inches of my hair. On only one side. I had to wear a bandana to school today and everyone knows that bandanas are instant fashion mortification. Even my mom and dad know that and they're in their fifties…I think. Either way, they're old."

"_Mitchie. _Sit. Down."

"Okay."

He didn't have to tell me twice before I planted my butt in the seat and stared at him with wide eyes. I had only heard him use that tone on Shane and that was scary enough just hearing that. He reminded me of my mom when she would go all half Spanish and half English on me and I'd be sitting there throwing dad pleading looks. Would he ever come save me? Nope. Was there anyone to save me now? Nope.

Yeah, I was stuck in a tree.

"Look. I gave you this assignment to help the boys out because they've been getting a lot of negative feedback lately due to Shane's spending streak. The tabloids are saying that they no longer care about the fans or their music. Nate and Jason's images are suffering because of the six foot tall five year old with a master card." I knew he was right. Jake was always right. There was a reason why he was the band manager. "Which is why you're doing what you're doing. If we somehow manage to show that they are normal every day young adults, then…" He paused as he turned to look at me and gave me a look that made me want to pee my knickers and run for the hills. "The tabloids will go back to saying nice pretty things and spring time will come once again to Connect 3 land."

Did I ever say that Jake had a creepy smile? Because he does. The one he was giving me was totally creepy and making me want to shiver. Right then I was too paralyzed with fear for my blogging career to even move or say anything though.

"But, you've caused a little bump in our road to happy land. Because you "forgot" to tell the boys about the blog. Oh and about the surprise that they're going to be announcing at their party tomorrow night. Which leaves us with…" He glanced down at his watch and then back up at me, still wearing the tight lipped smile that gave me the heebie jeebies and made me want to play You Stick Your Random Limb In while sitting in my seat. "One hour and fifty-six minutes and fourteen seconds, thirteen seconds, twelve seconds… I don't see you moving, Mitchie. Go tell the boys and get them ready for this press conference."

You ever seen a speeding bullet? That's exactly what I looked like right then.

**xoxo**

May 20, 2009

Yes, I know. I screwed up. I have epic fail tattooed on my forehead. My face is the picture that you see beside the word failure. Ugh, I hate my life.

I shouldn't have done that to poor old Shaney poo kins. Who according to you guys has, "raven locks of a god,," "amazing hazel brown eyes that look like cinnamon pools of drown worthiness," and "the body of Apollo and the face of the hottest piece of stud muffin to ever exist." Are you serious? Ew! Why would you describe him that way? He's like a brother to me. Seriously. Ugh.

But I made a bigger mistake then what I did to poor Shay.

I might have sort of forgotten to mention something major to them as well as this blog. Their manager is sooo mad at me. I think he might want to scalp me. Or burn me alive. When he gets mad, he gets really scary though. You know how parents are terrifying when they get mad? He's like that. Except like ten times worse. He doesn't do the yelling thing. He does the snake like voice hiss and just stares at you. I don't see how Shane can sit there and talk back to him like that.

But he pretty much told me that I'm responsible for getting them ready for the press conference. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm nervous and sweaty and all of my pores are screaming, "HELP MEEEE!" To put it lightly…

I'm all kinds of screwed.

**xoxo**

"You what!?"

I'll admit it. I winced when Shane did his high pitch girly scream voice when he found out that I had forgotten to mention the blog. I can't help it though. I hate it when he does that because it sounds like nails on a chalk board to me. It's horrible and it makes me think that he got his privates inverted or something. No boy should be able to go that high naturally. It makes me jealous. He can hit notes in that voice higher then I can when I'm singing and I'm a girl. But seriously, wouldn't it be the same for you if you heard that voice? Com on, who ever would have thought that he could sound like Alvin the chipmunk diva style. Not me. And let me be the first to say it's not a pretty or pleasant sound.

Shane Grey was not meant to be a chipmunk.

"Mitchie, why didn't you tell us?" Shane was straight up whining at this point and I was, like usual, ignoring him and his neediness as I poured myself a gigantic bowl of Cocoa Puffs to soothe my nerves and hurt pride at forgetting. "These people are going to know everything about us! How could you agree to something like that!?" Of course, when he said that, everyone knew he secretly meant, "how could you expose my neediness and lack of manliness to the entire world!?" Maybe once girls finally see what he's really like they'll stop trying to break into our apartment.

It was a good thing he couldn't see my face as I rolled my eyes while taking a big bite of my Cocoa Puffs so I wouldn't be forced to answer his question. Instead I shrugged before turning around and leaning back against the counter. Both Nate and Jason were just shaking their heads and running their hands through their hair. We had an hour and a half to get them ready for the press conference.

Ugh.

Eff my life.

"Shane, shut it. We need to focus on the other thing she forgot to mention to us. Why didn't Jake give us any warning?" Nate was frustrated and nervous and freaking out. I had never seen the normally composed boy like that and now as he rifled through piles of notes, I felt really bad. Jason was looking distraught and panicked as well. Poor boys. I felt horrible for doing this to them. "Mitchie, do you know anything about it?"

Crunching down on another spoonful, I rifled my brain for thoughts. "All he told me was that it was going to be international and it was going to be all of next school year. So a nine month tour. Other then that…he wouldn't tell me the other part. He said that was going to be announced at the press conference by your Uncle Brown…?" My sentence trailed off as I furrowed my brows and shrugged. I had no idea who that was at all. All I knew was the international tour part. Which wasn't a whole lot.

"WAIT. International tour!? Are you serious? And Uncle Brown!? Oh god, oh god, this is big. This is huge, guys." Shane was freaking out now. I've seen him throw his freak out tantrums before so it didn't phase me like Nate and Jason did as I rolled my eyes and kept shoveling down my chocolately goodness.

Cocoa Puffs are epic.

"Shane, calm down. It has to be big but we've handled worse right. Remember that time in London when you got stuck on the balcony and we couldn't get you off of it and the girls started scaling the walls to try and get to you? That was a much bigger problem. This we can handle. It's just…gonna require some adlibbing." Even as he said the words, I could tell that Nate was not happy with the idea. Jason was picking at his bird feather decorated bandana around his throat and Shane was sighing in an exasperated manner as he turned on me with a glare.

"You."

"You." I mocked him right back before I took another bite of my Cocoa Puffs and stuck my tongue out at him.

"If you had told us when you were supposed to…" I rolled my eyes as he sighed melodramatically and then ran his hands through his hair, knocking off the wig he had been wearing all day. Nate and Jase immediately started snickering as he bent down and put it back on lopsided while glaring at them and huffing. Even I couldn't hold back my snicker but that only caused him to turn on me once again. "Why did you agree to the blog and why oh why did you forget to tell us about the tour?" He was whining. Again.

This time I couldn't resist.

I just couldn't.

I know, I'm horrible, but it had to be done.

"Well it was either that or the secret cameras for a reality TV show. Which one would you have rather had?" I already knew his response before he even screeched it and already I was grinning sarcastically and Nate and Jase were laughing their butts off at his reaction.

"WHAT!?"

The pleasure I got out of baiting him was almost sinful.

**xoxo**

Do you know how stressful it is going over questions with Connect 3? Shane is more worried about how he looks then the questions and if he's going to remember how to answer one. Nate is too busy worrying about if everything is going to go off without a hitch. And Jason is busy panicking over the fact that Shane broke his last birdhouse this morning. Apparently he tripped over it when he was freaking out about his hair.

I hate my life.

No, really, I don't. This is actually entertaining. I know that sounds weird but watching them freak out for a change when they're normally chill is pretty cool. This is only proof that yes, they are normal people. Even if they are just a little bit weird.

There was fifteen minutes to the press conference. Make up and hair was done. The questions were written down for them as well as the answers. Everything was ready and in place. Uncle Brown - whoever that was - was here and everything was ready to go. After the past longest hour and a half of my life of getting the boys ready, I was finally relaxing.

Unfortunately it doesn't exactly seem as if I'm getting the chance to really relax at all.

I had been sitting in there just strumming away on my guitar and singing along with it. The song was still in the works but I was getting there with it. Now, one thing about me is that my singing, my guitar playing, my piano playing, all of that has been my own little secret since I picked up the hobbies eight years ago. I don't think I'm any good with any of them, but that's okay. That's why it's just a stress relief and something to help me relax. Which I don't get to do that often due to the boys always being around me.

So when Shane crept in somehow without me noticing, I just kept right on singing and playing not even noticing.

"_Did you forget that I was even alive__  
Did you forget everything we ever had  
__Did you forget__  
Did you forget  
About me?"_

Like normal when I played the song, the same emotions popped up. The heartbreak, the love, the worry, the stress, and most of all, the pain and loneliness. It was hard for me to write it and hard for me to sing it every time. It never got easier. But then again, what would when that one song encompassed two painful years of your life?

"_Did you regret ever standing by my side  
__Did you forget what we were feeling inside  
__Now I'm left to forget  
About us"_

That boy had been my heart and my life for two years. The reason why I breathed and the reason why I even bothered to keep living with everything else that had been going on. That had been right after the boys had blabbed that I was one of their best friends and when the jealousy started between me and my friends at school. My old friends. The boys had called me a pansy for being friends with them and liking their music. It had been all against me. Except for him. He had been my life saver back then. Until that time.

"_But somewhere we went wrong__  
We were once so strong__  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it"_

A tear slid down my cheek and I closed my eyes as I tried to focus on just singing it, on perfecting it. But that focus didn't encompass the memories of when he had first been diagnosed with being bipolar and depression. He had been a rollercoaster of emotions and had lashed out verbally as well as physically at me. I had tried to stick there through it, to be strong enough for both of us. But it had been too much and in the end…

"_So now I guess__  
This is where we have to stand  
__Did you regret ever holding my hand__  
Never again  
__Please don't forget  
Don't forget."_

After that verse I couldn't bring myself to finish the song. It happened every time and it only served to remind me, I'm not strong enough to face those demons. Biting my lip, I bowed my head and let my shoulders shake. I didn't even try to hold back the tears. Those were something else that I kept hidden from the boys up until now. They didn't know anything about what had happened other then me and the boy had broken up. The boy that had broken me so beatifically.

I can't say that I wasn't surprised when I felt Shane take the guitar away from me and pull me into his arms, rocking me back and forth as I cried. If I said that, I would be lying. I was shocked, surprised, mortified, but I didn't say anything and I didn't let go when I gripped his shirt in balls in my hands. He just held me and didn't ask questions.

It wasn't until Jake walked in and pulled Shane away physically that he finally let me go and by then, I had already stopped crying and was just hugging him to hug him. Kind of like last night when we had sat in silence and just cuddled. It was just one of those things that was part of our friendship that we just accepted. We didn't ever mention it and we didn't ever try and stop it.

It was just natural.

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Whoo, weren't expecting that, were you!? All of a sudden it went from happiness and freak out kingdom to sadness and a little bit of something hinting at Smitchie at the end? Omg! I think that's worthy of a review, ain't it? So go ahead and leave me one...AFTER you check out the teaser for next chapter. Btw, who caught the Jonas Brothers webcast tonight? I sure did. It was awesome. Anyways, here's the teaser! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW PLEASE! God bless you guys. 3

**xoxo**

**_Teaser_**

_"Oh come on, just tell us the big news already! Please! I'm dying with excitement here."  
_

_"This year, after the summer's over and you've released your new album, Camp Rock is going on the road with you guys! Huh? Huh!? What do you think about that!?"_

_"Oh my god, are you serious!?"_


	5. Chapter Four

**Author's Note: **I've told you guys I love you, right? You guys are amazing and I love reading the few reviews that I get. And just knowing you're enjoying the story so far. I'm sorry if the character seem...out of it. I don't know, I have problems writing them for some reason. But they vary from story to story, right? But I hope you enjoy this chapter. I typed it up just now. Not even two hours. How awesome is that? ;] Anyways, hope you like it and don't forget to review! Oh, by the way, I chose the party theme with the help of my friend Molly so kudos to her!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Camp Rock. Or Demi Lovato's song Don't Forget in the third chapter or Trash by her as well in this chapter. I only own the lyrics in the first chapter.

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Four**

**xoxo  
**

Would you believe me if I said that nothing had changed between me and Shane?

If anyone had told me a week ago that Shane would know about my music, I would have laughed in their face and told them that they were insane. Why? Because _no one _knows about my music except for me, myself, and I.

Until now.

It was the day after the press conference and I had been holed up in my room all day with old photographs spread out around me and listening to Nickelback. I had been remembering and one by one, burning the pictures until they were nothing more then ash. The songs that I had written back then, the ones that had been about him, the ones that had been written in states of depression caused by him, everything - I was destroying it. Including the matching T-shirts that he had given back to me. The one that said, I'm with doll face. And the matching one that said, I'm with hot stuff. And the entire time I cried.

Have you ever had a hole in your heart that nothing can fill and you don't know what to do to ease the pain of having that emptiness, that loneliness? I live with that every day of my life. It hurts so much. Nothing has ever been able to dull that pain or make it go away. Not even time. It had been almost a year ago and a week from today would have been our three year anniversary if he hadn't done what he'd done. If it hadn't all fallen apart and my entire world had been shattered beyond all reason while the boys had been on tour. Even without them noticing, even with the facade I put up every day, I was still so broken from back then and everything had come back out last night. Normally it would fade by the next morning and I would be able to put back on my mask and live life like everything was fine. But this time...

It wouldn't go away.

A choked sob passed my lips as I stared hollowly at a picture of us kissing, a coat hanger smile plastered on my lips and his dimples showing. How could someone so sweet have turned into such a monster? That question had always been left unanswered, haunting me with the answer that I knew would never come. My hand came up to press against my lips as I dipped the picture into the candle flame and then threw it into the ceramic bowl that played grave to all of the ashes of memories long past.

Another picture burned, another memory laid to the grave.

**xoxo**

May 21, 2009

So yeah, last night, press conference. Yeah, that was a trip.

Do you know what it's like prepping three boys who are obsessed with three different things on how to act and what to say to questions they've never seen except for an hour and a half before they're supposed to answer them? It's totally crazyyy. Like double yo crazy.

But yeah, it went off smoothly without a hitch and the boys threw an after party to make up for it. Now that was fun. Caitlin got dared to kiss Nate. And they were all grinny and stuff afterwards and they went off on a walk afterwards. For two hours. I wonder if maybe the youngest Gray is going to have a girlfriend starting today. Sorry all you Nate lovers, he might be off the market soon. Him and Caitlin have had like this thing for forever and a day.

But then again, maybe I'm guessing wrong because she never really said anything about it. And she also seems to think that me and Shane would make the cutest couple ever.

Can anyone say total ick to that?

But moving on from that. The boys are going to be going back to the recording studio starting June 4th. So you guys should be excited! This means new CD before they go on tour. Which reminds me, they're announcing everything today in regards to that. At least to those of us who have background information. Bwaha.

Yay for me, nay for you.

**xoxo**

"I'm worried about Mitchie. She's been MIA all day, holed up in her room just listening to Nickelback and not answering to anything. Apparently her phone's turned off or something. At least according to Caitlyn and Sierra it is."

I was so getting sick and tired of walking in on conversation about me. Kidding. It doesn't happen ever. Except for like...once in a blue moon like today. Although I think it might be a red moon tonight. But I didn't immediately announce my presence, instead choosing to peak my head around the corner into the living room where Shane sat strumming quietly on his guitar and staring down at the strings. Nate was sprawled across the loveseat staring at the ceiling and there was Jason staring out the window at the birds on the balcony. I didn't know which one had spoken. Shockingly, even after knowing them for so long, I couldn't differentiate between their voices. Weird? I do believe so.

Shane stopped strumming and raised his gaze, his brow furrowing as he sighed before setting his guitar to the side. "I don't know. She was off last night at the party..." I knew what he was thinking about. What had happened in his dressing room. I stiffened as I suddenly realized he might tell them about me crying for some unknown reason. Well because of a song that I had written. Ugh, do you know the problems that would cause if he did that? Too many that I didn't want to handle.

The relapse to thinking about him had been bad enough this morning.

"She's probably just trying to relax. You know how worked up she was yesterday...." I silently imagined myself bowing in worship at Nate's feet. He was my saviour.

"No, there's something else going on."

This caught both Nate and Jason's attention and Nate seated himself regularly on the loveseat, his face a mask of confusion while Jason just looked mildly interested. Shane hadn't straightened his hair and it curled adoreab - WAIT. WHAT. THE. HELL. Am I thinking!?

Adoreable and Shane in the same sentence!? Kill me now.

"She... She was crying in my dressing room last night. I don't know. She was listening to a song and just broke down in the middle of it. I walked in right when she started crying." If I didn't know any better, I wanted to say that Shane actually looked disturbed by the fact that I could cry. It was a good thing that he hadn't talked to Sierra or Caitlyn regularly back when...

My throat closed up as I blinked back tears that threatened to unleash themself on me and reopen the walls that I had haphazardly built around my heart. Now was not the time. It was in the past and I had just buried those memories so I would never have to walk through that particular memory cemetery ever again. "I'm worried about her..."

He wasn't the only one.

**xoxo**

"Okay, okay, settle down."

It was late afternoon at that point. I had avoided the boys up until when we needed to leave to get to the recording studios and I had been grateful when Jake had phoned and told me to bring Sierra and Caitlyn with me because they were needed at the meeting. I hadn't questioned why but I had been grateful for it. Especially for Caitlyn. Well, mostly her car. When she had pulled up in her silver Solara, I had been about to grovel on my knees in gratitude and kiss her feet. Thank gosh today wasn't one of the days she decided to "save the world by not driving."

Although as soon as we got seated in the car I was so not grateful for it.

Almost immediately they started bombarding me with questions. Apparently the boys are not to be trusted with cell phones. Shane had texted Nate who texted Caitlin who texted Sierra who texted Jason who texted me something about birds and Sierra. But the original message had included something about me crying and him being worried and asking what was up. And Nate had of course forwarded it to Caitlin, not being good at handling the crying girl bit and advice. He was good at solving problems outside of girls and friendship and relationships. But Caitlin worked wonders. And Shane...well that sums that up right there. It's Shane. He's stupid even though it's cu...

I think there's something wrong with me.

But they had pretty much demanded spillage and I had just muttered something about him. They had known immediately and it had been dropped. Awkward silence had followed. Caitlin and Sierra had been there for the beginning and the ending. To say the least, if it hadn't been for them, I probably would have been dead a year ago. That was how difficult it was for me. No joke.

"Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why you've been called here...well, here's the reason. Presenting Brown Cessario - also known as Uncle Brown - of Camp Rock!" Jake stepped aside and waved at the door as an older man who looked _nothing _like Shane or any of the boys for that matter walked in. He had short blondish brown hair that was spiked in a fohawk manner. With shining blue eyes and laugh lines all across his face, I couldn't help but grin back as he grinned at us. He was dressed in a relaxed manner, a tan blazer with the sleeves rolled up and left unbuttoned to show a white shirt underneath and then a pair of baggy blue jeans much like the ones that Jason tended to wear.

"Allo, my wonderful nephews and their pretty little friends!" His greeting was met with a heck of a lot more enthusiam then the boys showed even towards their music except when they had just gotten done with a concert. "Boys, boys, oh come on, let me go. You're squeezing the life out of me!" His british accent was what mainly caught my attention even though the fact that he was from CAMP ROCK! also did as well.

I had always wanted to go but - I hate to say it, I'm ashamed - my fear had kept me from ever trying to go. Meanwhile Caitlin had been going for the past four years since she was thirteen. And the boys had been discovered there. Three long years ago. Hard to believe it was back then when they were still normal and Shane was still a sweetheart. I still wonder what happened to him. He came back from his first tour a complete...just ugh. Jerk. Like he is now. And he had been that way since. I hated it about him but he was my best friend. I couldn't just walk away from him like I had wanted to at first.

"Uncle Brown! What in the world are you doing here?" Nate was grinning broadly and Shane was smirking as well. He had been the only one who hadn't rushed forwards, instead choosing to slap him on the back instead and do that nod head thing that guys did to say hi.

"I'm here with some rather wonderful news actually. Now sit down so I can tell you about it." The boys only nodded while me, Sierra, and Caity leaned forward eagerly. What was so important that he had come all the way from Canada to tell us? I was bouncing in my seat with impatience as I wanted to hear as well.

"Guys, this is pretty big and you're going to be all excited and giddy about it but, I'm warning you, it's going to be a lot of work on your part as well. Same with you three." Would it be bad for me to say that I was highly confused at that? I smiled nervously, unsure of what to do and after a moment I looked down at my jeans, picking at a loose thread on them. I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned my head to see Shane eyeing me, his eyes darkened from their normal cinnamon gold color to dark brown. I didn't know why he was staring at me that way but he gave me a soft smile before nodding towards Jake.

"Yes, it is going to be a lot of work. But we can pull it off if you guys work with us on this. Dee included too." Brown laughed at that and Nate, Jason, and Shane chuckled too, shaking their heads. No idea who she was but whatever. I wanted to know what was so big!

It seemed that Shane felt the same way as he kept his hand on my shoulder but blurted out. "Oh come on, just tell us the big news already! Please! I'm dying with excitement here." That type of outburst from him was unusual and I almost turned around to stare at him in surprise when I felt him shift slightly. His other hand came up onto my opposite shoulder and he started to gently rub my tense shoulders.

That was when it happened.

It started at the roots of my hair, sitting there and causing my head to go numb slightly. Like an egg being cracked on my head. Then the tingles slowly spread downwards through the sides of my face and down my neck to my back, working their way slowly through my body. Bumps had shot across my skin after it and my short hair on my neck and back had stood on end. Both sensations had never happened before when he did this. What was going on?

"This year, after the summer's over and you've released your new album, Camp Rock is going on the road with you! Huh? Huh!? What do you think about that!?" Uncle Brown was grinning from mouth to mouth a mile wide and I couldn't keep my squeal of glee and hand clap quiet. Both Caitlin and Sierra were screaming as they jumped up and down and hugged each other. Jason and Nate were hollering and whooping, high fiving. Shane didn't even flinch, his thumbs digging deeper into the muscles of my shoulders and causing a spasm of pleasure to shoot through my back. I almost moaned but instead just bit my lip as I smiled.

"Oh my gosh, are you serious!?"

Caitlin was standing there with her mouth hanging open as she laughed for what seemed no reason at all. But then stopped, the smile slowly falling from her face as she stared at the two men before her. It suddenly dawned me as to why and I frowned slightly.

How in the world...

"How are you guys going to pull that off? Have everyone drive in cars and call in to a chat or something?" Sierra stopped clapping at that and stood there frowning, her head tilted sideways. Nate got his thoughtful look on and Shane chuckled while Jason stood at the window saying something hyperly about birds.

"Now _that_ is a question to answer, poppet..."

**xoxo**

_"Don't try to cover up your new flame that's seething through your eyes." _That night, the apartment had been emptied of people, except for me and Shane and right then, I was sitting on the balcony struggling with lyrics that had burning through my mind since the meeting. It had been brought up when Caitlin had mentioned something about Brad cheating on Angelina with Jennifer. The suddenly - BOOM - there they were in my head and I had been itching to write them down all night since then.

Thank gosh for sudden hunger pains.

_"I can see it from ten feet away and I know." _My eyebrows knit together as I tried to imagine how that must feel, knowing that your loved one is cheating on you. I didn't know. It had never happened. But I know how it felt to lose one. I sighed in exasperation as I strummed my guitar for a few moments. _"Just who it's burning with every kiss you deny. So what makes you think that I still care or still want you anymore?"_ It had been so long since I had wanted to write. At least this time, it was something that didn't involve him. That didn't have anything to deal with him in any way.

_"So how long has this been going on? And one more thing was she the reason why you stomped on my heart..." _My voice trailed off as the lyrics slipped from my brain and I groaned in frustration as I stopped playing after messing up on a chord. I had self taught myself how to play and at times it was frustrating. I messed up a lot.

"Having trouble?"

The voice startled me and I almost fell off the edge, but not before a hand reached out and grabbed my arm, steadying me as my head jerked upward and my own dull brown eyes met sizzling golden brown pools. In that moment I got a heady rush, as if I were drowning and flying all in one, like my heart had stopped and began to pump so heard it wanted to burst from my chest. The moment passed within seconds though when I realized it was just Shane although the effects still remained long after it had passed.

"Uhh..." I couldn't find my voice as he let his hand linger on my arm, loosening slightly as his fingers trailed down my skin. His touch was leaving my mind fuzzy for some reason and I couldn't think of anything to say as he smiled down at me softly, his eyes warm and his facial features more relaxed then I had seen them in ages. It was in that moment that I dared to think to myself that he actually looked cute.

"Here, let me show you how you can hit those notes easier." Without even waiting for me to say anything, he pulled me from the ledge and turned me around, swiftly placing his arms around me and his hands over mine. As his fingers resituated mine on the neck of the guitar and his other hand grasped mine, his fingers lacing with mine briefly, the sensation of my world being upended came back. "If you hold it like this, and stretch your fingers like this..." His fingers suddenly spread mine wider on the neck, my fingers spreading across the neck much easier then before. "You have easier access to the strings. Go ahead...try that chord again."

And so I did, and you know what? He was right.

I didn't say anything as he leaned closer to my ear, his voice husky and deep and sending chills down my spine that left me confused and slightly hurt as to why I was reacting this way to him. Not even _he_ had been able to do this to me. Leave me drowning in waters too deep for me to comprehend, lost and unsure of where the surface was. "Play the song for me."

Without even thinking, I did. I played it for him and I hit all the chords that ran through my head and moreso perfectly. I even sang along softly, closing my eyes and realizing that those beginning words were the start of my next song - they didn't need to be changed. They were perfect the way they were. "That's perfect, Mia."

Mia.

He hadn't called me that in so long. Since he had changed. It caused my heart to jump. I hated it when he called me Mitch or Mi. Mia was his name for me. Just like Shay was mine for him. Our secret names. Our pet names. _Our_ names.

The last notes faded away into the night but we didn't move as I turned my head to stare at him and he stared right back at me. My mouth opened and closed as if I was going to say something but no words came to my mind. It was right when I was about to ask him why he was doing this to me, making me feel so many weird things that we were broken apart by the sudden clattering of the others returning. My cheeks warmed with a blush and I quickly handed him the guitar as Nate paused and then peered out at us before opening the door.

"You guys okay?"

Shane was the first to answer and I was grateful for it. "Yeah, everything's fine. Heh. Mitchie just decided she wanted to learn guitar. She sucks. Badly." I glared at him from the corner of my eye as he threw me a wink. Jerk.

"Oh okay. Mitch, if you want to learn guitar, ask me or Jason. Okay? We're better at it." Nate was the one who winked at me this time and I smiled and laughed as Shane huffed in objection. The curly haired boy quickly shut the door before he could say anything though, walking away into the kitchen laughing. It was only a few seconds later that I slid the door open and then paused, glancing back at Shane hesitanty.

"Are you going to come in?" My voice was soft and sounded too high pitched - too whiny to my ears. I hated it. What was he doing to me?

"No...I'll come in later." He had turned away and I watched him for a few more seconds before I turned away and stepped inside, sliding the door shut, but not before I heard whispered words that were not meant for my ears.

"What are you doing to me..."

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Bwaha. I'm evil. I know. I'm hinting at Smitchie and left you in the dark about her past. But her past is going to be revealed. And I know that the emotions for Shane and Mitchie came on suddenly but like with the Camp Rock thing, it will get explained. I'm not going to say anything else because it would totally ruin the next two chapters. Next chapter I think you'll like. It's going to be more about Shane and Mitchie then anything. Memories mainly. Hope you like it and hoped you liked this! Thanks once again for all of the reviews and I love you all! 3 Here's the teaser.

**xoxo**

**_Teaser_**

_"Mia...I think...I t-think I like you..."_

_"Just stop it! What happened to you!? What happened to the boy that I had a crush on before you went on tour and before the band and before...just. everything! What happened to you!?"_

_"At times I wonder if...maybe...I just imagine it when I think that you're letting me in and then the next second shutting me out..."_

_"You aren't imagining it. That's exactly what I'm doing. I can't trust anyone now."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because no one trusts me."_

_"Shay... What happened to us? It's like we don't even know each other but we're best friends..."_

_"I...I don't know."  
_


	6. Chapter Five

**Author's Note: **Thank you for the reviews and the story alerts that I did get and I know I'm crazy. Two chapters and in one day? Haha, hope you enjoy. I spent four hours on this sucker. It's a total of 5,840 words. Craziness! I haven't written something that long in soooo long. I love you guys enough to do this though. BTW. Anything in _italics_ is memories.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Camp Rock.

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Five**

**xoxo**

I was drawn to him like a firefly drawn to a campfire glowing dimly in the darkness as its coals died.

Since that night on the balcony - four days ago - I had found myself delving deeper and deeper into the mystery that had become my best friend Shane Grey. Within the past five days, he had become someone else entirely it seemed. Going from being that jerky pop star that the public and papparazzi loved, to being the boy that I had once held a torch for four years ago. The boy that I got my first case of giggles over and the one that admitted to liking me back right before he went to Camp Rock and then came back to me as an international superstar and a complete arse.

When Nate and Jason had asked him if he had been feeling okay, he just smiled and said that something had happened. He wouldn't say what, wouldn't explain, just kept acting like he used to, like the boy that had captured the heart and soul of almost every teen girl in America. Before he had thrown those same hearts back at his fans and basically said eat my dust because I only care about myself. None of this would have bothered me if it hadn't been for the fact that he had been getting more and more into my face, talking to me, asking me stuff that he had never bothered to inquire about before.

It unnerved me and the more he asked, the more I started to think. The more I thought, the closer I came to the revelation that I had drawn today that had left me breathless and on the brink of tears.

My best friend for the past eleven years of my life knew absolutely nothing about me.

**xoxo**

_"Shay Dat's what I wanna call you."_

_A small girl stood facing an older boy, her long curly brown hair drawn back in pig tails high on her head and a toothy grin decorated her face as she stared at him with wide doe like eyes. The small girl couldn't have been older then four years old and the way she acted gave it away from her play dough stained hands to the way she rocked back and forth on her feet. Her dress was stained with grass and dirt, some small bits of the play clay she and a younger boy around her age had been playing with who stood beside her. With curly light brown hair that stuck from his head in all directions, the two could have been mistaken for siblings if it weren't for her darker colored skin revealing a small passage of Hispanic heritage._

_"That's a stupid name. Shay makes me sound stupid." The older boy pouted, shaking his head as he stared at the girl in front of him. "Mitchie, why are you so dumb? You're stupider then Nate is sometimes!" His words were mean, but by the way he stepped forward and poked her in the forehead, it was obvious this was common between the two children as they stared at each other. Mitchie's eyes narrowed as his finger met her forehead and she glared at him while sticking his tongue out at him._

_"At least I'm not as stupid as your bike, Shay." Sticking her tongue back out at him, Mitchie also crossed her eyes before giggling and covering her mouth with her hands, her cheeks a bright red. A look of anger came across Shay's face and he opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything and snapped it shut again before growling. The action caused the four year old to squeal and take off running, her pudgy little legs carrying her as fast as they could across the yard to the sidewalk. _

_"I'm gonna get you, Mitchie!" Their laughter filled the streets and the other little boy merely stood there watching, smiling as he watched his older brother and friend play with one another._

_But suddenly it all came to an end when Mitchie tripped and fell, her knees banging against the sidewalk and tearing through the skin, the rough cement digging into the newly added wounds to the many scratches and bruises that adorned her small body. "Ow..." The small girl didn't even cry out, instead only whimpering as Shay skidded to a halt beside her and knelt down, his face filled with worry as Nate went running for their mom. _

_"Mitchie! Are you okay?" He sounded like he was about to cry, his eyes wide and brimming with tears. Mitchie didn't say anything and instead smiled, punching him in the shoulder and causing him to glance at her in confusion._

_"Tag, you're it, Shane."_

_They both laughed as they heard the front door banging shut to the house three doors down from where they were. As Mitchie stared down at her knees, gently poking at them, Shane caught her hand in his and the action caused her to look up at the smiling boy. A matching toothy grin spread across her own lips as he stared at her for a second before his face became serious as if he were thinking really hard. And right before his mother reached the two of them, he whispered so only she could hear..._

_"I'm gonna call you Mia."_

**xoxo**

"Shay...What happened to us? It's like we're best friends but we don't even know each other anymore..." We had been sitting on the balcony, on the swing, his arm around me and I was cuddled up against him. Even though I had been experiencing all kinds of crazy emotions around him, even though I would grow shy and unsure of what to say, I still liked these moments. It was the only chance I ever had alone with him. But this time, the moment was different. This time I wanted to talk to him, to reget to know the boy that had slipped so far away from me so quickly without me even noticing.

I wanted my best friend back.

Silence met my question and I watched his face out of the corner of my eye. The shock that slid over it, the confusion, and then finally the sad look of acceptance. It reminded me of how it had happened to me, how my mind had wrapped it up in a little video tape for me and delivered it in the form of memories that wouldn't stop. I had been forced to remember every turning point in our friendship when we would either become closer or drift further apart. Do you have any idea what it's like to watch yourself drift apart from your best friend in slow motion? Be thankful if you've never had to face that yourself. It hurts and it sucks.

"I...I don't know."

The answer washed over me like ice. I had been preparing myself for it all day, knowing that it was coming and that there was going to be no way to avoid it. But it still surprised me and left another hole in my heart to join the first one that had been there for slong that it felt like a natural part of who I was now. Instead of answering, I simply nodded, silence once again taking over our moment as we watched the sun set overhead.

**xoxo**

_"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SHAAAAAAANEEEEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" Shane was covering his ears as he listened to Mitchie scream every word of his happy birthday song. Everyone was grinning and laughing at the two, watching as Shane glared at her while she smiled back at him, her smile no longer toothy and her hair in one long braid down her back instead of ponytails. They had been friends for three years now and Mitchie adored Shane with a passion while he tried to act like he cared nothing for the small girl who followed him around everywhere._

_"You're so annoying. Why do you have to act like that?" He pouted at her but poked her in the forehead like her normally did, slowly smiling as she giggled and slapped him on the arm back. "Ow...you aren't supposed to hurt the birthday boy! You're supposed to be bowing at my feet and kissing them!" _

_"Ew! That's so gross. Your feet have cooties." Sierra and Caitlyn shared a giggle, the two girls sharing a look that only they knew what it meant, Sierra crossing her eyes at the end of the secretive smile. "Boys don't have cooties, but Shay's feet do! Shay has cooties, Shay has cooties!" Both girls took up the chant and started pointing at him while he stared at them with anger slowly forming on his face._

_"Ugh! You're so annoying! Maybe this will shut you up!" Without any warning, he grabbed a handful of the cake in front of him and threw it at Mitchie, hitting her directly in the face and causing the young girl to laugh and giggle. "Ha, see! Now you're a cake face. Cake face! Cake face!"_

_The chanting from Nate, Jason, and Shane didn't even affect the young Mitchie as she put on a serious face before walking up to where he was sitting. With each step she took, he got quieter and quieter until he was completely silent. The adults didn't stop the scene, didn't even yell at them for the mess they were making or were about to make. Instead they just watched as Mitchie ever so calmly ran her finger through some of the icing on the cake and then reached out and smeared it across Shane's lips. Complete silence met this as the boy opened his mouth in shock right as Mitchie smiled and clapped her hands._

_"Now you're a girl like me! Shay's wearing lip stick!"_

_The boys laughed at Shane as he licked it off, pouting again as he grabbed another chunk and stood up before smashing it into Mitchie's face and rubbing it in. "At least I'm not a cake face." She blinked owlishly before frowning and reaching for her own chunk of cake and grabbed his shirt and pulled it open. Shoving it down his shirt, she hugged him so it became completely mushed all over his chest._

_"At least I don't have cake down my shirt."_

_"Oh yeah!? Well you're gonna have cake in your pants if you don't start running!" Atlhough the boy seemed truly mad as he grabbed another slice of cake and started chasing Mitchie into the backyard, the adults knew the children well enough to know they weren't and just laughed it off. The entire time, Mitchie was laughing and screeching with glee, thinking it was all one big game as she hid behind a tree and looked out from behind it. Seeing Shane still coming after her, she took off running again but the older boy tackled her to the ground and holding the cake threateningly above her. But before he even got a chance to continue with his threat, Mitchie did something that left him shocked. _

_She leaned her head up and planted a kiss on his cheek, leaving a small wet mark as she pulled back._

_"You're my best friend, Shay."_

**xoxo**

I had lost track of time, unsure of how long we had sat there curled up next to one another for warmth. I don't remember when Nate had come out and handed us a blanket, not saying a word as he gave us a look that was unreadable. I don't think I even noticed when the others went to bed, shutting off all the lights including the balcony one and leaving us in complete darkness. Too many memories slid through my mind like a neverending movie. That time had been nine years ago. When he had just turned ten and I was still seven. How had we managed to come so far and still be friends?

"Mia... what are you thinking about?" His chest rumbled underneath my ear and the sound sent chills down my spine. What was I thinking about? I didn't know what to tell him. There were so many thoughts and too little words to describe them all, too little time to voice all the questions that I had bubbling up inside of me. So I said the only word that seemed to fit the moment, the only one summed it all up without me having to explain.

"You."

His laugh caused my heart to jump. It wasn't something I was used to anymore. His laugh was like music to my ears everytime I heard it which had been more times in the past few days then I had heard it in the past three years. I pulled my head away from his chest to find him looking down at me, his smile reaching his eyes. The shadows that played across his face took my breath away as it struck me how handsome he was. Before he answered me and we went back to our peaceful silence, he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and pressed my head back to his chest, his voice rumbling through my being as he answered.

"I was thinking about you too."

**xoxo**

_"Five points if you hit the door, ten if you knock it down, and twenty if you hit the red flag thing."_

_They had been riding their bikes towards home but when Mitchie had stopped, her eyes focusing in on their cranky next door neighbors mailbox, Shane hadn't been able to resist coming to a stop as well and listening to what she had said. This had been a game that they had played before at the beginning of the summer, one of the many thingts that they had done together now that they realized that they weren't going to be in school together anymore starting tomorrow. He was going onto middle school and she was staying behind in elementary. Just like he had already turned thirteen and she was still ten. _

_His brown eyes met hers, hidden beneath her shaggy bangs and she grinned at him when he didn't answer immediately. The last time they had done this, Mr. Beezlewax had gotten mad and had come over to their houses to let their parents know what they had done. He had demanded that they shine his mailbox and the only reason they had gotten out of it was because it would be considered child labor. At least that was the argument their parents gave. That still hadn't gotten them out of the two weeks of grounding._

_"Come on, Shane. You know you want to." Her eyes were gleaming as she slid off her bike and kicked the kickstand into place before turning back to face him, her hands on her hips as she leaned forward and whispered the last part. "Or are you chicken?"_

_Since the first time they had become friends six years ago, Shane had never been able to turn down a challenge when issued one by the younger girl. And so now as his eyes flashed and he stood there staring at her, he mimicked her actions from before. He slid off his bike slowly and kicked down the stand for it, slowly stepping away from the bike and moving to stand only a foot away from her before he leaned in and whispered, "You wish. I'm going to show you just how wrong you were for even suggesting this."_

_"Tough words. But are you tough enough to prove to back them up?" She smirked at him as he scowled at her before bending down to scoop up some pebbles. With a laugh, she did the same, both moving stepping backward to the sidewalk on the other side of the street. "You remember the rules, right?"_

_"Of course I do, Mi, I'm not stupid. Duh. Now let's get this over with so I can show you how a real man does it." She hated it when he did that. Tried to make her feel like she was less then him just because he was over and was now a teenager. So without saying another word, she tossed her first pebble, scoring a rather impressive ding on the mail box, the noise echoing in the silent neighborhood that was bathed in the dying sun's twilight._

_"Five points for me!"_

_"And five points go to Mitchie Torres for a rather unimpressive toss at the mailbox. Hopefully her next two throws aren't as bad, otherwise all hope is lost for the young lady in winning this competition." Shane had deepened his already matured voice to act like he was an announcer as he tossed one of his pebbles in the air and caught it. The glare that Mitchie levelled at him would have caused anyone else to shrink away for fear of her legendary tantrums she was prone to throw. But not Shane. He was too used to them and usually made fun of her if she tried to guilt him with one of them._

_"Shut up, Grey."_

_"Stop throwing like a girl, Torres."_

_"I am a girl, dufus." And with those words, she tossed her second pebble, the small pellet rebounding off the silver door and causing it to creak open slightly but not fall completely open. "Crap." The word spilled from her lips before she could stop it and her hand came up to cover her lips that were already curving in a smile and it didn't stop the giggle that bubbled from her. Shane's eyes widened as he turned to look at her and gawked. He had never heard her say anything so inappropriate like that. Especially a word that was banned from their households!_

_"Mitchie!"_

_"What!?"_

_"Nothing. Just throw your next pebble." The smirk that curved his lips betrayed his amusement as she threw her next pebble, his eyes following the way it arched and hit the door straight on to where it fell open. But that was why she was his best friend. She had spunk and that was what he liked about her. Even at the age of four she had been fearless when it came to older kids and had been the terror of the schoolyard in kindergarten. Threatening all of the boys with mud and worms and black eyes if they didn't listen to her._

_"Yes! And that's twenty points for Mitchie. Think you can beat that, Shaney?" Her eyes were twinkling, the dark brown depths appearing black in the ever darkening twilight. He just smirked as he shook his head before sliding his foot back and staring at the mail box for a good few seconds before throwing his first pebble. It dinged off the side of the mailbox, granting him five points and a scowl while Mitchie giggled._

_"The wind blew it off course." And without even waiting for her to say anything he threw the next one and struck the inside of the mail box. They paused for a few seconds as they tried to figure out what it counted for. "Does that count for ten?" Shane glanced at Mitchie for an affirmative but she just shrugged, biting her lip as she wondered if he was going to outdo her. "I say it does."_

_He had already pulled back his arm to launch the next one when all of a sudden the door to the house burst open and out came their crotchety next door neighbor, already yelling out stuff they couldn't understand. Squealing and laughing, both quickly mounted their bikes and took off down the street. Their legs pumped and strained as they tried to bike away as quickly as possible and retreated down the street and over to the next one. When they finally came to a stop both were laughing so hard they struggled to keep from falling off their bikes._

_Letting their bikes clatter to the ground, Shane hugged Mitchie and they stayed that way until their laughter stopped. Both had sunken to the ground, still clutching one another and when the laughter subsided, it almost seemed as if they were reluctant to let go of the other. Soon silence came upon them as the sky darkened more so with each passing minute. Neither spoke until Mitchie finally sniffled and whispered, "I'm gonna miss you. Me and Sierra aren't going to have anyone to protect us at school..." Her words trailed off as she rubbed at the pavement with her finger._

_"I'll still walk you guys home! I'm just right next door in the middle school. It's no big deal." But Shane knew it was. It wouldn't be the same. They had sat together at lunch, played together at recess, and shared detentions often because of their pranks and their antics. It really wasn't going to be the same. "Just cause I'm going to the big kid school doesn't mean I'm not your best friend still."_

_Mitchie shrugged in response before saying, "I know...I'm just going to miss having your ugly face around is all."_

_"Yeah, I know, I'll miss seeing your ugly mug too, Mia."_

**xoxo**

For what had felt like the past hour, I had been dozing off and on. It was one of those times where you catch yourself falling asleep but then jerk back to consciousness and then rinse and repeat it. It was like I was half asleep but still dreaming, dreaming about Shane and my memories. I had a small smile on my face and I could feel Shane's steady even breathing beneath my chest. I didn't know if he was asleep or just sitting there peacefully, still looking out at the city lights. But I didn't want to risk the chance of waking him up and facing the wrath of Grey if I did.

A sigh passed my lips as I cuddled my head into his chest and I felt his arm pull me tighter to him as I bit my lip and risked a glance at him. His head was leaned back against the seat, his mouth hanging open slightly. I felt my lips breaking into a smile as I moved slightly and suddenly his head was jerking forward and he was staring down at me, blinking, his eyes wide.

"Did I fall asleep?" The only answer he got was an exhausted giggle from me as I nodded while he smiled tiredly. "I think that's a sign I should go to bed..." His words were broken off as a wide yawn stretched his lips and I suddenly panicked as I realized this would mean I would be alone. Without even thinking I clutched at his shirt. I had problems with being alone. I needed people around me. They kept the thoughts at bay, kept me distracted from the pain and the memories that plagued me to no end when I was by myself. My actions caught him by surprise as he glanced down at me before pushing me away slightly but still keeping his arm around my shoulders.

"Mia?"

"If you do go to bed..." My voice trailed off as I tried to think of what I wanted to say, of how to tell him that I didn't - couldn't - be by myself tonight. It was too risky. It was too close to the date. So many bad memories, so many scars both physical and emotional. I _needed_ Shane tonight. "Could I..."

His brows had risen to disappear beneath his shaggy bangs as he reached out and trailed a finger down my cheek causing me to glance at him in surprise. As he caught my reaction, he started to chew on the inside of his cheek, pulling his hand back and instead resting it on the small portion of bench between us. "Sorry..."

"Could I sleep with you tonight?"

**xoxo**

_"Do you have to go?"_

_The words were whispered so brokenly by a small voice that matched the tears that dripped down the teenage girl's face as she stared up at her best friend in the entire world. Her dark brown eyes were shadowed with sadness and hurt and loneliness as his light brown eyes met her gaze and softened, his heart thudding painfully at the pain he knew he was causing. Shane reached out and brushed a few strands of her recently cut hair out of her face, his hand lingering too long on he side of her face but he didn't care. He had been planning this moment for the past two weeks. _

_"I'm sorry, Mia. I have to." His own words were whispered thickly as he gazed at Mitchie who looked so crestfallen. This was going to be their first summer apart since they had met each other. It was going to be a difficult change for both of them but at least Shane had his music and classes and a camp to distract himself with. Mitchie only had her music that no one knew about._

_"You don't have to..." Before she could catch the words, they had come her and she buried her face in her hands as she mentally berated herself for saying them. But it didn't seem to bother Shane as he reached out and pulled her hands away from her face, scooting closer to her on the bed as she did so. "Shane, stop. I'm sorry for saying that." But he didn't stop and so it was with reluctance that she allowed him to pull her hands away and titl her chin upward so she would meet his gaze._

_"Don't be. Mia...I-I have something to tell you." He tripped over his words as nerves came alive within him, wondering how he should tell her. Mitchie bit her lip as she nodded, watching him and waiting for when he would say what he needed to say. Was he going to tell her that he didn't want to be friends anymore? Was he going to tell her that he had a new girlfriend? The first time he had told her, it had nearly killed her. Not really, but it had hurt her. A lot. She had been forced to put up with her constantly, never seeing her best friend unless she had tagged along. She had hated it. She had wanted Shane all for herself but had only reasonly realized why._

_"Mia...I think...I t-think I like you..."_

_The words caught her off guard, her face freezing in a picture perfect moment of shock as her mouth formed an O and her eyes widened. Shane was gazing off into the corner of the room and was just sitting there, staring, his fingers playing with hers as he fidgeted. Suddenly nerves alighted within her as she tried to say something but as the silence stretched on, she didn't know what to do and when he spared a glance at her, she looked away. He gave a sigh as he stood, muttering something about needing to go and before she knew it he was walking towards the door to her room, about to walk away to go get in the car to go to Camp Rock for the summer. _

_He was about to walk away from her._

_Without thinking Mitchie stood up and stumbled after him, tripping on a forgotten book on the floor and crashing into him from behind and knocking him to the floor. He had tried to turn around at hearing her movements and so when they had fallen, he was chest to chest to her with her lying on top. Both of their cheeks flared to life as Mitchie had stared down at him shyly and then swallowed nervously before closing her eyes and leaning forward quickly, brushing her lips against his briefly before scrambling to her feet. But that was enough as Shane pushed himself up from the floor and stared down at her. _

_Giddy smiles alit their faces and he pulled her into a hug quickly before he pulled back and kissed her again, letting his lips linger on hers for a little bit longer this time. But the honking of the horn signaled it was time to go. He didn't have time for a lengthy good bye. It was now or never. _

_But yet neither said anything as they just stared at each other before hugging one last time, squeezing each other tightly and memorizing the moment. Before they released each other, Mitchie kissed his cheek gently and without another word, he left the room. When he climbed into the car and his parents pulled away, Jason and Nate already goofing off in the backseat, he turned back to see Mitchie blowing him a kiss, her hand remaining pressed to the glass until he drove out of sight._

**xoxo**

"Shay?"

His name was whispered as I stared at him on the other side of the bed, his back turned to me. This time when I spoke, he didn't stir and I wondered if he really was asleep or if he was pretending. Last time he had been though and so I didn't push it as I slowly pushed back the covers and tossed my legs over the edge of the bed. The hard wood floor was cold to my feet causing chills to swarm through my entire body as I shivered lightly before standing and padding across the floor to the window. It was there I stood in my long baggy T-shirt that fell to my knees staring out at the streets below us, lost in my thoughts.

This time I knew what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how much we had changed in the years we had known each other, how much our friendship had changed and how many times we had almost lost it due to carelessness on our part. It hurt me knowing that I had come so close to losing him when he had been the rock beneath my feet for what felt like forever. This time though, it seemed as if things were changing for the better. He was going back to the boy who had captured my heart when he was sixteen and I was about to be turning fourteen. The boy that I had given my first kiss too. The boy that I had told I loved him before he went on tour and then came back completely changed.

I shivered again as a tear streaked down my face. Could that be what this was? Could those old feelings be coming back now that he was acting like his old self? I didn't want to think about it, didn't want to consider it. Too many times I had been hurt by the people that I cared the deepest for. By Shane, Nate, Sierra, Caitlyn. They had all hurt me in some way or another. My parents. I couldn't handle that type of pain anymore.

_Orion_.

He had been the worst. By far, he had been the worst. He had broken my heart and stomped on it and then done the unthinkable, the unforgiveable. He had...

"Mitchie. Come back to bed. I"m cold without you."

Shane's voice was cranky and groggy as he stared at me but I couldn't help but smile as I turned back to face him, stepping away from the window and back to where his bed was. Shane was just so...Shane. He scooted over for me, cuddling into the covers as I laid down and turned onto my side. What shocked me was when he pulled me close to him, forcing me to lay my head on his chest while he kept an arm snugly around me. Even before he had finished pulling me to him I heard the first snore or sleep and I giggled but a yawn split my lips not long after.

It wasn't long before I too drifted to sleep, my eyes falling shut as the first images of a dream appeared in my mind.

**xoxo**

_"Just stop it! What happened to you!? What happened to the boy that I had a crush on before you went on tour and before the band and before...just... everything! What happened to you!?"_

_The laughter that camed from the seventeen year old in front of fourteen year old Mitchie wasn't one she recognized and it caused her to cringe with how cold and bitter it sounded, so foreign coming from his lips. That sound was not one that Shane Grey was ever built to make. Not one that anyone she loved was supposed to make. "Stop being such a drama queen, Mitchie. It's called growing up." He sneered at her as he leaned forward slightly, his face mere inches from hers as she flinched. "Ever heard of it?"_

_She couldn't help it. She retreated, pulled back and retreated. There was nothing else she could do as she shrunk away and tried to collapse inwards on herself to keep the pain away, to push him out and forget that he had ever been in her life. How could he treat her like this after all the timat they had spent together? After all they had been through? The thought that he could do this, just throw it all away made her physically ill and she grimaced as she found nausea flooding through her. "Shane..."_

_"Mitchie." He repeated her name mockingly, his eyes dancing with cruel humor before he smirked in digsust and snickered. _

_"Why..."_

_"You already know that answer." The whispered word had struck something inside of him, his eyes dying of light and his face becoming emotionless as he turned away. He didn't bother to turn back to face Mitchie as she reached out a hesitant hand and gently touched his shoulder, scared he would pull away like last time. But this he stayed, albeit a bit more tense then usual. _

_"At times, I wonder if maybe...I just imagine it when I think you're letting me in and then the next second shutting me out..." Her gaze was focused on the floor and her hand had fallen back to mhery side, her eyes trained on the dust that had gathered under the small carpet that led into his room. _

_"You aren't imagining it. That's exactly what I'm doing. I can't trust anyone now." His words were so clipperd, so cold, each sentence causing another wince, another wish that she could so something, anything to get her friend back. All she wanted was for this to go away, for this to have not happened. But it wouldn't and neither would the tears that stung the back of her eyes as she struggled out the question of why. It was his next words that were earth shattering as he stared at his window, her eyes glazing over with tears as she turned to rush from the room._

_"Because no one trusts me. And no one cares about me. So why should I care about them?" _

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **No teaser today. Just give me reviews and I'll be happy. I love you guys. Review and I'll be willing to update tomorrow between laundry and the birthday partay. Have a good one!


	7. Chapter Six

**Author's Note: **Before you even say it, I know this chapter is shorter then the previous two but you want to know what, that's all right because you guys are going to adore this. You want to know why? You'll have to read to find out. But before I let you get to that! I want to say thank you tremendously for all the reviews. You guys have no idea how much you made me smile and how many happy dances I did. For a straight five minutes after I checked my e-mail when I woke up, I was rolling on the ground with my cat and squeeing. It was amazing. I was so overwhelmed. Seriously, I love you guys and so I decided to change the plot of the story a little bit and speed things up. Just for you guys. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Camp Rock or any of Demi Lovato's music. Anything you don't recognize is mine.

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Six**

**xoxo**

_Five months. That was how long the tears had been falling for. He had never asked why they fell and she had never told. He had no earthly idea but he knew that deep inside of her she was in great pain and the tears were the only way she had of expressing them without saying a word about them. Every time he saw her in public, with other people, she was perfectly normal, a smile on her face that acted as an iron wrought mask to hide the pain and at first, it had frightened him. But now it was just natural to hold her in his arms whenever she cried, to love her unconditionally even though he had no idea why she was the way she was. It on nights like these when the memories would come back and she would cry until she fell asleep in his arms. But on that night, Orion wasn't there. That night she had wanted to be alone._

_It was the night of her fourteenth birthday and for the first time in the past ten years, it was the first birthday that she was spending without Shane. Jason and Nate had at least called but Shane, she hadn't heard from. He hadn't called or texted, hadn't even told his brothers to tell her happy birthday. Instead Nate had made up an excuse for him while she had heard him strumming and singing in the background, getting ready for the last show of their tour that night. The tears and the pain that had come with knowing he wasn't even thinking about her, didn't even seem to miss her. Which was why she was doing what she was doing right then. _

_Mitchie had seated herself in the center of her room with photo albums spread out all around her and a single candle burning in her darkened room. A bowl of ash sat in front of her beside the candle and as she stared at a photo of her and Shane together when she was eight and he was eleven, their smiles gleaming up at her, a single tear slid down her cheek as she dipped the edge of the photo into the candle. The tips of her fingers were burned black by the smoke of the candle and the ash of the many photos she had already burned but she didn't care. Dropping the picture into the bowl, she stared at Shane's smiling face, his hazel eyes dancing like they always had back then until his face was burned away into nothing more then a mixture of dust and the remains of the burned photograph. This was what she had been doing since she had opened her presents from her family after dinner. This was what she would be doing all night until the last picture had been burned._

_It was her way of burying him and saying good bye to everything that had once been._

_KInd of like how Caitlyn and Sierra had said good bye to her in a different way. While she adored Orion, the way he had made her come alive after a month and a half of feeling dead to the world, of saving her from herself, they hated him. She didn't understand why no matter how much they explained it. But after two months of them telling her that he wasn't good for her, that the life she was getting drawn into wasn't right, she had finally gotten sick of it and told them that if they couldn't accept it, then they couldn't accept her. This was who she was now. Just like Shane, she had changed. He had been the reason for it and the change hadn't been a good one. Same as his. It was almost eeire how even after so long they were so much alike. The thought caused her to release a bitter laugh._

_"Good bye, Shane..." The words were whispered to the flickering flame as she allowed a picture of her and Shane from her ninth birthday to dip into the fire and begin to smolder away into nothingness. Another memory laid to the grave, another memory she would no longer have any proof of except for the memory that would soon fade into the back of her mind. But with that burning picture came the tears and she brushed them away angrily as she dropped the picture into the bowl, her eyes squeezing shut as she willed herself to not spare him any more tears, repeating to herself that he didn't deserve them. _

_Time seemed to blur together as picture after picture was destroyed and more tears leaked from her eyes like raindrops from the sky. She was angry at herself for being so weak, for still crying about him even after so much time had passed. Somewhere along the line, her mother had stopped to say good night to her, not opening the door but lingering outside of it for a few minutes before sighing and going to bed. She didn't want her mother to worry any longer, to question whether or not her daughter would ever be able to recover from the loss of her best friend or if it would lead to something darker that neither of them wanted to happen. Mitchie wanted her mother to see that she was happier without Shane, that she had become someone new and stronger and better then she had been then when her and Shane had been friends. She had to prove that she was different and that because of this change - because of Orion - she was a better person._

_But how could she do that when she hadn't even managed to convince herself of that truth?_

_The night stretched on, the moon rising to its peak in the sky and causing moonlight to shine down in her room as she grasped in her hand the last picture that she had. The last picture that had been taken of the two before he had left for his tour and then come back two months later completely changed. It was of her and him, his arm slung around her shoulders as she smiled at the camera but with her eyes on him. He had been smiling down at her, his eyes locked with hers and crinkling at the corners. The one that was connected with it was of him whispering something in her ear and her laughing, her eyes squeezed shut and her head thrown back. And then the last was of him kissing her, his hands on either side of her face and hers buried in his hair. She had only been thirteen. But already she had experienced those passionate emotions that they called love. At least, she thought it had been love. _

_For some reason though, as she traced the outlines of his face with her fingers, she couldn't bring herself to burn the blown up pictures that she had once had framed on her dresser while he had been gone. She couldn't bring herself to destroy the last piece of that treasured time of her life. Instead all she could do was clutch the pictures to her chest and sob out her sorrow at losing him, at missing him, at being too weak to move past him. _

_"Shane...I miss you..." The words were strangled in the midst of a sob, caught in the center of it and coming out choked. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her face transformed into a mask of utter agony as she sobbed brokenly. To anyone viewing the scene, it was the perfect scene of tragedy, one that would cause any heart to melt in pity for the small figure that rocked back and forth and wept so strongly. To the one person viewing it, it did just that and they couldn't tear their eyes away as they hesitated before tapping on the window. The noise caused Mitchie to jump, her head jolting upwards as she drew in a deep breath, her eyes scanning the room before falling on the white face that stared inward at her. The sight of it caused the breath to be taken from her lungs and her heart to pound gainst her rib cage. _

_Shane._

_She didn't know how long they stood there, frozen, merely staring at one another breathing heavily. Mitchie didn't dare to blink or move for fear that he would suddenly disappear into thin air, that it was nothing more then a hallucination of her imagination. But yet as time passed, he never did and finally she laughed, a broken bitter laugh because suddenly she found the situation hilarious. There he was in her window and she had been ready to say good bye to everything and had burned all of the pictures. how ironic life could be. _

_'"Mitchie..." She heard him whisper her name through the glass. Or maybe she just imagined that was what he said when she saw his lips move, but he could hear his voice in her head, just like she always had been. Without waiting, she moved to the window, slowly opening it and as the glass parted between them, she stared him the eye. The eyes that were a dancing hazel gold, the same eyes that had captivated her only a year ago and she couldn't help but smile even before he said her name._

_"Mia."_

**xoxo**

"Mia."

The sudden voice in my ear startled me from my deep slumber and I shot up, knocking my head straight into Shane's and causing me to fall back on the bed with a groan as my hand flew up to my forehead. A stinging pain rang thorugh my head and I winced as I rubbed the spot. I could hear Shane hissing in pain as he remained looming over me, the sheets falling to around his waist as he peeked open an eye and stared down at me as I opened my eyes. Even though he now had a throbbing red mark on his forehead, he stared down at me with a smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling like they had been for the past five days and seeing his smile spawned a smile on my lips. A yawn suddenly split apart my smile as I stretched, my arms raising above my head as I arched my back and moaned at the sudden popping that went along my spine. It felt so good to be relaxed first thing in the morning, to wake up next to the person that i was the most comfortable with and could trust with my life. It was everything that I had ever dreamed of.

When I opened my eyes again after giving a relaxed sigh, I saw Shane looking down at me with an unreadable expression on his face, his eyes trailing down over my body and then back up to mine. The glance that he had scrutinized me with caused my cheeks to flare and I couldn't help but glare at him as I glanced down and then realized why he was staring. My shirt had ridden up and my shorts had gathered in a bunch, exposing more of my stomach and my thighs then I liked. Tugging down on my shirt and then on my shorts, I glanced off to the side and murmured an apology but before I could finish, his finger was planted on my lips shushing me.

My heart rate peaked suddenly, pounding against my rib cage as I felt my breath hitch as our eyes locked again and his remained trained on me this time. His lips were parted and I knew that his breathing was heavy, coming quicker then normal for the normally calm and collected boy that leaned over me. He was resting on his elbow but his free hand came up to cup my cheek, carressing it with his fingers before he began to trail a finger down my jawline and then to my lips, hovering over them as his eyes flickered down to my now open my lips as my breathing quickened. What was he doing? The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and chills swept down my back causing me to shiver as he traced the outline of my lips and then coming to rest on my bottom lip again. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and I shut them as I shuddered lightly because of the onslaught of confusing emotions and reactions to him. A stuttering breath passed my lips as I felt him shift and when I opened my eyes, he was only inches from my face.

It was in that moment that I knew I was in too deep and I was drowning in the essence and mystery that was Shane Grey.

Time seemed to freeze as I could have sworn his face inched closer to mine and just as our lips were centimeters apart, my eyes flickering shut as I waited for him to kiss me, someone banged on the door and he cursed, pulling back as he stared at the door before yelling out, "What!?"

"Shane, Uncle Brown just called! He said he needs you and Mitchie down at the studio in thirty minutes!" And with that being said, Nate was gone and so was the moment as I took another shuddering breath and my heart began to return to its normal pace, my eyes shutting as Shane sighed before pussing himself off the bed. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him warily. He was pacing as if he were a caged animal and I worried for him, unsure if he had been feeling what I had been feeling in that moment just then. I wanted to ask but something caused me to bite my tongue in uncertainty. It didn't feel right to ask that question. But it seemed as if Shane wasn't thinking the same thing as he turned towards me, his eyes lit with something that I couldn't tell what, no longer sparkling but instead dimmed with the alien emotion.

"Mitchie..." His voice trailed off as he started to say something but he seemed to think better of it as instead he shooked his head before turning to rummage through his dresser. Before I could ask him what he was going to say, he had tossed me some of my clothes, a graphic yellow T-shirt with a guitar and the word rock in loopy cursive across the front of it and then a pair of light blue hip hugger jeans. "We need to get ready. If you want to take a shower, go ahead but we'll have to take it together since we're so short on time." My cheeks flared at the implications even though we had done it before, just wearing our bathing suits and showering together when we had been running short on time like we were now. "You might want to go grab your bikini." And with that, he stalked out of the room, his hands buried in his hair as he moved.

The closing of the door caused me to wince for no apparent reason and I sighed before I threw off the covers and stood up, stripping myself of my shirt in the process. Today was going to be a long day.

**xoxo**

"We're here."

Those had been the only two words that we had shared the entire drive to the Lava Records studios and even those were short and clipped. Shane wouldn't look at me even though I had been struggling to catch his eye and I had finally given up. Even now as I risked a glance at him, he wouldn't look at me and I sighed exasperatedly before I opened my door and climbed out of the car, slamming his shut and not bothering to wait for him as I hurried down the pavement. I could hear him calling out my name as I sped up my pace. I didn't want to be around him. He had been pissing me off since we had almost kissed that morning, going back to acting like the Shane that I hated. The Shane that I had dreaded seeing but couldn't help but be around because he was the only one who kept me stable. What was wrong with him? So what we had almost kissed, it wasn't that big of a deal. It was no reason for him to do this, to act like this.

"Mitchie!"

"Don't call me that!" Before I could stop myself I had spun around and was yelling at him, glaring at him as he came to a halt five feet away from me with his hand stretched out. His eyes widened slightly as he let his hand fall back to his side before he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I stood there and waited for him to say anything, for him to explain why he had yelled my name and stopped me. And when he didn't, I rolled my eyes and turned back around began to walk away again, heading for the double door entrance. It was his hand on my arm that stopped me the second time and I felt myself sigh with defeat as I turned back to face him, peering up at him through my choppily cut bangs.

"Mia...this morning..." Was he finally going to say what he had been about to say this morning? I didn't know. The look on his face said that he wanted to, the way he looked so confused and distraught over our curious predicament made my heart pound and I had to swallow around the lump that had risen in my throat. "I..." His voice trailed off again as he kept a grip on my arm, my eyes locking with his even though he dropped his gaze to stare at his hand that held me there. I wanted to run, to take flight and just dash away from him. I didn't like what he did to me, the way he made my heart pound and the way he made my mouth go dry or the chills to race through me. I couldn't stand the butterflies and the goosebumps or the way I got light headed when he smiled at me. I couldn't ever think properly when he stared at me with those bedazzling sparkling eyes of his. Why couldn't I just be normal around him, just be the girl that I had been around the old Shane? Why was this new Shane able to spark so many different emotions and reactions in me?

"Shay, don't. You don't have to explain yourself."

I knew he didn't want to, that he felt he had to. I only wanted to talk about it if he wanted to. I didn't want to end up fighting about something so juvenile as the awkwardness between us or the almost kiss. I couldn't risk losing him again, especially after that dream where he had tenderly mended our friendship back together and led us to the point we were at now, almost three years from then. But it didn't seem that he saw that option as he pulled me closer to him, his other hand hesitantly coming up to my face as he stared down at me. My heart beat thundered in my ears and suddenly I knew it was coming. I knew what was going to happen even before he did it. Instinctively my eyes fluttered shut and my lips parted just right when his barely brushed across mine.

Suddenly everything seemed right Passion and heat seared to life within me and I gasped against his mouth as he released my arm and pulled me flush against him, our bodies seeming to meld together perfectly. While one of his arms went around my waist the other came up to cup the side of my face, moving to the back of my head to lace his fingers through my hair while I clutched his shirt with both hands. My heart seemed to still within me as he moved his lips over mine, deepening the kiss with a passion and gentleness I didn't know he possessed. I responded to him hesitantly, unsure of myself unlike all those years before but that didn't seem to matter as he led me in the dance of passion that we waltzed too with our emotions and actions.

It didn't matter because for the first time since Orion, everything felt right.

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Ooohhhh, you weren't expecting that were you!? I hope you guys liked it and that you're all jumping for joy because it finally happened! They finally reached their boiling point! But don't go getting all excited just yet. Read the teaser and you might decide you want to hack my IP address and come slit my throat in my sleep. xD

**xoxo**

**_Teaser_**

_"Mitchie Dementia Torres! When were you planning on telling me that you and Shane kissed!?" _

_I had just sat down for breakfast when the tabloid was slapped down in front of me and I blinked sleepily at it as I stared down at the picture that seemed all too familiar. It was only after the memory of my kiss with Shane ran through my mind did it register with me that the scene that I was looking at was the one that had happened only the day before and I screeched out my shock as I stared down at the picture. My hands were now grasping the edges of it as Caitlyn stood beside me with her arms crossed over her chest and glaring at me. My eyes widened to the size of golfg balls, I kid you not, as I stared at the picture that someone had taken of me and Shane kissing passionately, his hand buried in my hair and my fingers entwined in his shirt. I hadn't even seen any photographers around! How could they have snapped this?_

_"Caity I can explain, I swear." Yesterday I had kept the kiss to myself, just revelling in the glory of the afterglow and then the secret kisses afterwards when I had snuck into his room after everyone else had fallen asleep. He had still been awake, waiting for me and the late night talk had been exhilerating. Same with the private voice lesson with him the day previous and then the look of astonishment on Brown's face when he had listened to me play piano, guitar, and violin. But it had been lunch and the movie afterwards that had truly stolen the spotlight of the day, when we had been acting like love struck teenagers on a first date. It had been...perfect. _

_"Well you had better explain right now." Her voice was stern and angry as she glared at me and I could barely see Nate's curly head poking around the corner with a I feel sorry for you look plastered on it. I had never seen her this riled up about it as I opened my mouth and snapped it shut again. "Any time now, Mitchie."_

_"I..."_

_"We don't have all day." She flinched as she turned her head to the doorway and then glared at Nate before turning back to face me. "Besides...you might want to hurry..."_

_"Why?" Confusion swept through me as I took a bite of the toast that I had just made and now I wish I hadn't because maybe that would have saved me from choking at her next words."_

_"Because his girlfriend is in the lobby threatening to break down the door unless they let her up here."  
_


	8. Chapter Seven

**Author's Note: **Yay for all the lovely reviews! Seriously, you guys don't know how much I appreciate you. I really do. I love you guys to death and back again. And yes, I know, you guys were upset by the teaser, but just keep reading to find out what exactly happens. Hope you guys enjoy and don't forget to review.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Camp Rock or any of the work in this story except for the words I have written myself and the song in the first chapter.

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Seven**

**xoxo**

"I'm almost scared to guess what it might be that has both of you all smiles today. I'm scared I might get it wrong and then the next thing I know, I have one walking out in anger and the other running away in tears. Although, to be honest, poppets, I don't really know which one of you would be which." Uncle Brown's voice rang through the small music room that we sat in the middle of all on stools with our guitars in hand and I couldn't help but smile as I strummed the melody that was playing through my head. Oh but wait, I was already grinning like a maniac and as I sneaked a glance at Shane, who was glancing at me, my cheeks flared and I giggled. I was acting like a love sick drunk but damn, did it feel good. This didn't seem to go unnoticed by Brown but that didn't matter to me as he spared me a look that clearly said he knew exactly what was going on. "Okay, you love drunks, tell me when this happened. It's only been four days since I last saw you two! What in the world could have changed that childhood sibling rivalry you two shared so much since then?"

Neither of uf could say coherent words it seemed as I giggled and bit my lip again, my heart racing as I rememered the kiss and revelled in the afterglow effects of it. His lips...they were so much softer then they looked and the taste of them was a mixture between a spice of cinnamon and something that can only be described in one word.

Shane.

I can't describe what exactly happened afterwards, the connection that seemed to spring up between us so suddenly after the kiss and how since then, we had always been physically touching in some way. I was acting like that thirteen year old all over again who had just shared her first kiss with the first boy she had ever liked. That thirteen year old girl who had thought that she could take on the world as long as she had the boy who had snagged her heart by her side. And that was exactly how I felt then as Shane reached out and stroked my cheek, granting me his million watt smile that caused my heart to do that pitter skip patter against my chest as he sighed and kept his hand there before turning to Brown.

With his other hand, he motioned before opening his mouth and then shutting it again. He didn't seem to be able to say any words that could fully tell him the entire story, the kiss, the emotions, the closeness that had developed between us in less then two weeks. I don't think that anything could. How do you tell someone that you just kissed your best friend and now you thought that you might be in love with them? Oh boy, I knew I wouldn't be able to. I didn't know if it had developed that deeply for Shane. I wouldn't know unless I asked him. Not like I was going to until we had been together for a longer time period. I mean, we just kissed. It's not like we're engaged or anything.

Maybe boyfriend and girlfriend, if I was lucky.

"Okay, okay, that's it. Enough of this lovey dovey mush pit. Let's get serious for a second, shall we?" He gave us a look that clearly said he was serious and Shane dropped his hand reluctantly from my cheek although it wasn't lost on me that he didn't want to as he scooted his stood closer to mine making it to where our thighs were touching. The touch of so sensitive an area for me caused my cheeks to flare to life and I stopped strumming as I nodded before reaching up and beginning to twist the ring that adorned my middle finger on my right hand. My purity ring. The one thing that reminded me constantly - as it had since I was twelve - that I was still pure even though my heart had been tained and torn and shredded to pieces. I was still innocent if only in one way. "Now, Mitchie, I know you can play guitar. You just played a beautiful piece for me and I find it hard to believe that you're self taught. Shane has bragged about you dramatically over the past week or so to me and never seems to be able to describe your music as anything short of incredible, a miracle, amazing, brilliant, breath taking. You get the picture."

The color in my cheeks deepened as I glanced at Shane and he sheepishly smiled. Had he really said all of that about me?

"But...I have yet to hear you sing or discover the other talents that you have lying within you. So why don't you sing for me, my little birdie?" He grinned at me as he clapped his hands together and rubbed them. Nerves began to bubble within me as I opened my mouth and stuttered something unintelligible out before hanging my head and letting the blush deepn and creep further up my cheeks and down my neck. Shane had been the only person I had ever sung for and that had been on accident when he had walked in on me. I hadn't sung for him since then, only played my guitar. "Come on, now. Let's hear it. You ahve nothing but fellow musicians here who won't judge you. At least, I won't. I can't say anything for the pissant beside you. He can be one at times, sorry, mate."

Shane was glaring at his uncle but I couldn't help but giggled and his glare quickly melted into a heart shattering smile. God, he was beautiful. I took in a deep, shuddering breath before I shook my head to clear it and then nodded, smiling widely at Brown before whispering, "Can I use the piano though? The song I want to sing requires one." That seemed to be the correct thing to say as Brown clapped his hands and laughed.

"You are just full of shocks and surprises. Piano as well? Just full of talent, aren't we?" But he didn't say anything else as he motioned for us to follow him to the right corner of the room where the beautiful white grand piano sat that I had first eyed when we had stepped in. Since I had first laid eyes on it, my fingers had been itching to stretch themselves out over it. Piano had been the first thing that I had taught myself when I was only six years old and tentatively pushing the keys down one by one. Each resonating tone and note that had stirred something inside of me had at that time only caused my eyes to widen before I had slowly begun to piece the notes into something that resembled a song back then. Now, I could play with the best of them if I put my entire being into just finding that inner melody, that inner tune that sang through us all.

As he motioned for me to sit down, I slid onto the seat, my fingers running along the keys and I felt myself find that peace that always came to me when I played. I already knew what song I wanted to play, the words coming to life to hide in my mouth before I opened it to belt them out to the world. My eyes locked with Shane's for a brief second and I knew it was the right one, this song. After all, it was the one that I had written for him.

"Make me weep, doll face."

Those words from Shane were the only inspiration that I needed as I began to play the opening to the song, taking my time and drawing out the beginning. Already I could see the shock on Brown's face as I bent my will to the music and let it flourish from those white ebony keys that had stolen my heart the first time I had ran my fingers over them. Ignoring my surroundings, I shut my eyes and opened my mouth, the first words and notes flowing from me as if it were only me in this room, as if I was the only one left in the world and music was only mine to merge with and become one with.

_"My state of mind has finally got the best of me  
__I need you next to me__  
I'll try to find a way that I can get to you  
Just wanna get to you."_

A shuddering breath and a cascade of keys before my lips opened again and I sang the next part as if it were the most delicate part of the song.

_"The world I see is perfect now  
__You're all around  
With you I can breathe."_

It was at that perfect moment, the moment when I would be revealing the heart of the song that I opened my eyes and locked eyes with Shane. I tried to convey somehow, some way, that this song was meant for him, that he was what had inspired me to write it.

_"Until you're mine, I have to find__  
A way to fill this hole inside  
__I can't survive without you here by my side__  
Until you're mine, not gonna be__  
Even close to complete  
__I won't rest until you're mine...  
Mine..."_

My voice trailed off as the notes reverberated into the air, my eyes opening as I had shut them halfway through the chorus. But this time as I locked eyes with the brilliant gaze of the boy who I had found myself drowning in, I couldn't blink, I couldn't turn away. I couldn't break the stare that we held right then that melted away all scenery and just left the two of us there alone.

_"Alone inside, I can only hear your voice  
__Ringing through the noise.  
Can't fight my minds, keeps on coming back to you  
Always back to you._

_"Wanting something out of reach  
It's killing me, you're all I see, yeah."_

My voice soared to the rafters of the room, echoing off the walls as I breathed in deeply and then launched into the chorus again, this time singing it directly to Shane. He had to know by now. He had to.

_"Until you're mine, I have to find  
A way to fill this hole inside  
I can't survive without you here by my side  
Until you're mine, not gonna be__  
Even close to complete  
I won't rest until you're mine  
Mine..."_

Another pause, another frozen heart beat, another shuddering gasp for air.

_"Just stop wondering  
If we were meant to be  
Forget about fate and just hold me  
I'm ready to begin  
The waiting has to end  
__Right now, today  
I've gotta find a way._

_"Mine...  
Until you're mine..._

_"Until you're mine, I have to find  
A way to fill this hole inside  
I can't survive without you here by my side  
Until you're mine, not gonna be  
Even close to complete  
I won't rest until you're mine...  
Mine..."_

My voice trailed off as the piano stilled for a second before I pressed down the last few, heart wrenching notes and sang them out. My voice was a mere whisper of what it had been at the last chorus, barely resonating loud enough for Shane or Brown to hear, but the emotions were thick as I sang them, my eyes only for Shane as I did.

_"My state of mind has finally got the best of me  
I need you next to me."_

The silence that hung in the air after those last few notes faded was not anything uncomfortable or awkward. It was not a judging silence. It was a tentatively waiting silence as Brown stared between me and Shane and then finally realized that the song had been meant for him. He didn't even bother to make up an excuse as he whispered something to Shane that I didn't quite catch and then he was gone from the room. From one blink to the next. He had vanished. I didn't care though. I was waiting, waiting for any action from Shane.

My heart was racing and goose bumps prickled along my skin, showing that every nerve of me stood on edge waiting for the response that would either elate me or deflate me. Breath was hard to come by as my mind roared with voices that argued with one another. One said that any second now he was going to walk to me and kiss me senseless and declare his love for me too. The other said that any second now he was going to yell, "You just got punk'd!" and then the back drop would fall away and there would be the camera crew while he laughed it up.

Although that would be funny looking back on it.

I didn't have long to think though as Shane slowly walked around the piano, stopping at the edge of the seat before he slowly slid in next to me. I didn't know what he was going to do as he slid so close to me, our thighs were pressed solidly against one another while he reached out and stroked my cheek before moving it to cup the back of my neck. I didn't know how to respond as his other hand traced my features, my eyes shutting as he delicately trailed it over my skin and left my breath shuddering through out me. I didn't know what to do when he pressed his forehead to mine and began to whisper my name over and over again like it was some type of sensual ritual. I didn't even know what to think as he began to sing softly to me, his words only for my ears as I opened my eyes and lost myself in his stare, that intoxicating gaze of his.

_"You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing.  
I need to find you.  
I gotta find you.  
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me.  
I need to find you.  
I gotta find you..."_

His voice trailed off as I began to drown in the essence that was him, the essence of the man that I was falling for second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. He took in a wracking breath as he whispered the next words without singing them, "I found you." And then everything else was gone around us as he granted me most heart shattering kiss since that first kiss, the one that caused my heart to soar beyond space and through the universe wrapped in his arms.

It was the kiss that proved to me that I had fallen for him and fallen hard.

**xoxo**

"_I found you._"

I sang the words to myself as I sat on the balcony by myself that night, just staring out into the lights of the city. That night, my guitar wasn't out there with me as I sat up waiting for the boys to get home, waiting for Shane to get home. They had a show that night, one of the few that they had all summer to keep up appearances while focusing on the next album primarily and he had told me he would be singing our song that night, the song that he had written for me. All I could do was smile as I imagined what he was feeling when he sang it. When he had sang it for me when we had gotten home, locked in the solitude of his room, it had felt as if I had been in another world entirely where it was just him and me. No one else existed except for us.

I wondered if it had been the same for him.

I bit my lip as I thought back to the kisses, reimagined them and hugged my knees to myself, letting my chin rest on them as I allowed my head to rest on his chest while listening to his erratic heart beat. Every moment that we had shared since our newly discovered feelings had been beautiful in its own way. Each held a memory and a moment to it that could only be seen and felt by him and I alone. No one else could begin to understand what it was that we had that was so special, that froze my breath in my throat and left me speechless.

No one except for us alone.

No one.

**xoxo**

"Okay, so what's your favorite color?"

As I slid two pieces of toast into the toaster, I actually had to think before I turned back to face the boy that leaned across from me against the counter with his arms folded across his chest. A slow smile spread over my face as I answered him flippantly, "Easy. Blue gray because it's a gorgeous shade. It can vary so much. And then bruise purple for the bruises I leave on you when I abuse you." Animating my answer, I swung my fist out and playfully mock slugged him across the chin only to have my wrist grabbed and be pulled forward into his arms, one of his hands sneaking up underneath my shirt to rest against the bare skin of my hip while the other held my arm captive.

"Abusive, huh? I think I like that." His words were whispered huskily as he kissed me, releasing my wrist and allowing me to bury my hands in hands and play with the silky strands as he nibbled on my lower lip before breaking the kiss and smiling down at me. His smile. The smile he only had for me. "My feisty Mia."

His words caused chills to swarm down my spine and me to shiver as he let me turn around and lean up against him, his lips tenderly kissing the side of my neck and planting butterfly kisses to the nape of my neck. Those kisses caused me to shudder and he wrapped his arms more snugly around me before whispering in my ear, "My favorite color changed. It's hazel green. The color of your eyes when the sunlight hits them. It's gorgeous, just like you."

Okay, okay, I know already. It's cheesy. But who can not love it? I mean, honestly, you can't sit there and say to me that you wouldn't do a little inside screech of happiness if your boyfriend said that to you. Instead of showing the happy dance that the inner me was doing, I turned around and playfully swatted at this chest and smirked up at him. "Oh my gosh, someone's a bit cheesy, aren't they? Have you been watching one too many chick flicks, Shay?" I couldn't help but tease him as I stepped away from his arms and towards the fridge where my tall glass of Sunny D was just waiting to be poured.

"Hey now. I only watched those to learn about girls." He pouted at me as I spun around and gaped at him while laughing. The pout that he was showing was adorable as I continued to laugh while I opened the fridge and pulled out the large container of orange juice. Shane Grey had watched chick flicks. And had admitted to it. It was a revelation and I kept letting out stammering laughs as I poured my Sunny D. When I felt his hands on my waist, I giggled and tilted my head to look up at him. "What is so funny about that?"

"You watched chick flicks! The stuck up, arrogant, conceited Shane Grey aka jerkiest pop star known to man kind, watched chick flicks and admitted to it!" I slid out of his hands and sidled over to the fridge, opening it and putting the Sunny D back in before turning around and smirking. "Wait until Caitlin and Sierra get a load of this." As soon as the words left my mouth, he was paling and blanching as he stole a sip from my orange juice. His hand slapped over his mouth as he choked on the swallow he had been taking.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no. You are NOT going to tell them." His eyes were wide as he set down the glass and waved his hand in a veto motion that only caused me to smirk wider and raise an eyebrow. Oh really now? "The only reason why I told you is because we're playing twenty questions and one of the rules is we have to be honest with everything we say, including non answers." His voice rose in pitch as he mimicked me before rolling his eyes and then staring at me while I continued to smirk at him.

"Oh really? So I'm not allowed to tell my friends about my boyfriend? I see how it is." The entire time I was talking, I was stepping forward slowly, stopping at the toaster and reaching out to grab my toast and then continued to move slowly towards him. Just right when I reached him and I grabbed my glass as well, taking a sip from it with my eyes still locked on his, I smacked my lips and then smiled. But that smile quickly melted into a smirk as I whispered, "We'll see about that."

And with that I was dashing out of the kitchen while calling out Caitlin's name even though she wasn't there. Her and the boys and Sierra had gone on a Waffle House late night run but Shane didn't know that apparently as he panicked and came chasing after me. I was giggling the entire time, especially when he knocked over the couch and then stumbled into the door way while I set down my toast and orange juice and then jumped over his bed to avoid him. And so there we were, wth him on one side of the bed and me on the other, both watching the others moves continuously, trying to decide what would be the best course of action.

Just kidding.

What really happened is he tried to leap across the bed at me and fell flat on his face on the covers and I tried to jump over him and he grabbed my ankle and brought me crashing back down onto it with half of me on it and half of me hanging down to the floor. Both of us were laughing as he dragged me back up onto the bed with me yelling, "Noooo!" the entire time like I was some poor girl in a B rated horror film about to be eaten alive. But, of course, that didn't happen. Instead he just pulled me up, pinned me to the bed, and kissed me senseless.

I have to say that right at this moment, I love my life.

**xoxo**

May 27, 2009

Sigh. I'm happy.

I'm floating on air.

I couldn't be any better.

I feel amazing.

And that's all I have to say right now, folks.

**xoxo**

"Mitchie Dementia Torres! When were you planning on telling me that you and Shane kissed!?"

I had just sat down for breakfast when the tabloid was slapped down in front of me and I blinked sleepily at it as I stared down at the picture that seemed all too familiar. It was only after the memory of my kiss with Shane outside of the Lava Records building ran through my mind did it register that the scene I was looking at was the one that happened only the day before and I screeched out my shock as I stared down at the picture. My hands were now grasping the edges of it as Caitlyn stood beside me with her arms crossed over her chest and glaring at me. My eyes widened to the size of golf balls, I kid you not, as I stared at the picture that someone had taken of me and Shane kissing passionately, his hand buried in my hair and my fingers entwined in his shirt. I hadn't even seen any photographers around! How could they have snapped this?

"Caity, I can explain, I swear." Yesterday I had kept the kiss to myself, just revelling in the glory of the after glow and the secret kisses afterward when I had snuck into his room after everyone else had gotten home and fallen asleep. He had still been awake, waiting for me to come back and the remainder of our late night talk had been exhilerating. Same with the private voice lesson that I had gotten from him after I had sang and played piano for Brown. But it had been lunch afterwards and the movie that we hadn't really watched that had truly stolen the spotlight of the day, when we had been acting like love struck teenagers on a first day. It had made the day that more...perfect was the only word I could think of to describe it.

"Well you had better explain right now." Her voice was stern and angry as she glared at me and I could barely see Nate's curly head poking around the corner with a I feel sorry for you look plastered on it. I had never seen her this riled up about something like this as I opened my mouth and snapped it shut again. "Any time now, Mitchie."

"I..."

"We don't have all day." She flinched as she turned her head to the doorway and then glared at Nate before turning back to face me. "Besides...you might want to hurry..."

"Why?" Confusion swept through me as I took a bite of the toast that I had just made and now I wish I hadn't because maybe that would have saved me from choking on her next words. I have a love for toast and bananas if you haven't figured that out. But now, I don't think I'll ever be able to eat toast again.

"Because his girlfriend is in the lobby threatening to break down the door unless they let her up here."

"WHAT!?"

Both Nate and I cried that out at the same time but I started choking almost immediately afterwards and the poor seventeen year old was forced to rush in and pound on my back as Caitlyn stood there with fluttering hands screeching something that sounded remotely like oh my jesus. As I finally swallowed the piece of toast that had become stuck in my throat, I turned wide eyes on Caitlyn and said again, "What!? What girlfriend? Shane doesn't have a girlfriend beyond the one in front of you. Who in the world could possibly be saying they're his girlfriend!?"

Caitlyn's face had gone pale as I yelled at her and I could vaguely hear Shane in the background asking what all the hub bub was about as she pulled another magazine from under her arm and handed it to me. "This one..." It was a full on front picture display of Trinity Contra, an upcoming Disney Star that had stolen America's hearts. I knew her face anywhere considering we despised each other with a passion. She hated me because I lived with Connect 3 and I hated her because she was doing everything I wanted to do and she sucked.

I couldn't help but burst out in laughter as I read the line, "Trinity has a one to one personal talk with our editor about her latest movie, her upcoming album, and her secret relationship with Shane Grey." That was greatness right there. "Secret" relationship. That said it all. There never was one.

"That's funny. That's really funny. 'Secret' relationship." I was giggling insanely as I read the article, laughing even more as she named the date of their first hook up which had been the night of the concert that Shane had found me crying. After the concert, he had spent the rest of the night with me, just sitting in silence as we just enjoyed the other's company. Good luck coming up with proof that he was there with her and not me. I remember that clearly.

"What are you guys doing making all of this racket?" Shane was clearly grouchy as he stumbled into the kitchen, his hair a mess as he made his way towards the fridge but not before he stopped and planted a scratchy kiss on my cheek. I smiled at him as I watched him drink straight of the orange juice bottle and then made a face as he made a face back at me. "Get over it. I'm cranky this morning. My warm blanket decided to ditch me before I woke up."

"Your blanket warmer was hungry." I stuck my tongue out at him as I shoved the magazine in his direction. "So when were you planning on telling me that I was your mistress next to your 'secret' girlfriend Trinity?" I was smiling as he stared down at the words and shook his head, his eyes widening as he read.

"What!? I had a concert that night and spent it with..." His head shot up as the other four - Jason and Sierra having just joined us - looked at him expectantly. "What? I was spending it with my girlfriend." And with those words, he motioned towards me and my cheeks flared as Sierra and Jason stared at me in shock. All I could do was give a shaky smile and a nervous chuckle while waving at them. I wondered if any of them had noticed that I was wearing his shirt yet. For the first time all morning, Shane glanced over at me and stared at the shirt that I was wearing before he smirked. "You look good in my clothes." And then he was waltzing out of the picture while I sat there sputtering after him.

Looking back at Jason and the rest of the group, Jason smirked as he pulled a I Love Lucy comment out of his butt.

"Lucy, you got some 'splainin to do."

**xoxo**

**Author's Note:** Sooo, what do you think? Are you guys happy with it? I sure hope so because I know I am! I loved writing this chapter, I adored it. It was so nice being able to explore their characters a bit more and I think I might be starting to get a feel for their personalities. Next chapter is mainly going to be a filler, like chapter two, but it's going to include some fluff. Can anyone say chocolate pudding war?

**xoxo**

**_Teaser_**

_"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you dare, Mitchie. Mitch, stop it, don't come any closer. If you do, I swear I'll...I'll..."_

_"Oh you poor baby, what are you gonna do to me? Kick my butt into next week? Too bad. I don't care. Now come here and play!" _

_And with those words, I slammed the bowl down over his head and watched as I fell to the floor in laughter as chocolate pudding dripped down to the floor and down his face.  
_


	9. Chapter Eight

**Author's Note: **Soooo, who enjoyed the last chapter? Huh, huh? I know I did. But I enjoyed this chapter even more, it's more fluff and fun with the entire group! ;D I just wanted to say a really big thank you to all of your reviews. You guys seriously make me squeal and squirm in my seat. Haha. I can't believe I'm already almost at 50 reviews and it's not even chapter ten yet. I know that might seem like little compared to some but for me that's a lot. So a million thank yous to you guys! But enough babbling from me, here's the next chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Camp Rock or any of the songs in here except for the one in chapter one!

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Eight**

**xoxo**

_"We were both young when I first saw you.  
I close my eyes and the flashbacks start  
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air  
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns  
See you make your way through the crowd and say hello  
Little did I know..._

_"That you were Romeo  
You were throwing pebbles  
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet  
And I was crying on the staircase  
Begging you please don't go."_

My voice echoed throughout the entire small karoake studio we had rented out for the night and as I finished the line of the second verse, I jumped up and landed with my feet splayed out and the arm I wasn't holding the microphone in thrown in the air. My head was tossed to the side and my eyes were squeezed shut but as soon as I started singing again, I was back to staring at my friends' amazed faces while my boyfriend - my adorable, cute, loving, amazing, talented, _pop star_ boyfriend - merely smirked. Gazing straight into his eyes, I started to bounce up and down on my feet before walking back and forth across the small stage I stood on.

_"And I said,  
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone  
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story, baby, just say yes._

_"So I sneak out to the garden to see you  
We keep quiet, `cause we're dead if they knew  
So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while._

_"Oh, oh, oh."_

Caitlyn and Sierra were clapping their hands and squealing as they started to sing with me, their voices blending with mine and causing me to laugh in the middle of the song as I reached down and pulled both of them up on stage. Crowding together, they both put a hand on the microphone and we all started singing together. Sierra bumped hips with Caitlyn who crashed into me and I fell to the ground laughing but I never stopped singing. The boys just laughed and smiled, Shane relaxing further back into the extended couch like seat and smirking up at me while Nate and Jason started to dance in their seats to our song. It was one of the moments that I'll never forget.

_"Cause you were Romeo  
I was a scarlet letter  
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet  
But you were everything to me  
I was begging you please don't go_

_"And I said,  
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone  
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story, baby, just say yes._

_"Romeo, save me, they're trying to me how to feel  
This love is difficult, but it's real  
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess  
It's a love story, baby, just say yes."_

Without thinking, I jumped off the stage, strutting up to Shane while singing out the ohs in the middle of the break of the song. Sierra and Caitlyn shared a glance before they mimicked my actions, Sierra standing in front of Jason and then Caitlin in front Nate who was now blushing from the roots of his hair to the bottom of his neck. I giggled as I knelt down in front of Shane who wore an amused look on his face and Sierra and Caitlyn were all laughing as they followed suit. Without needing to be prompted, I burst into the third and last part of the song all the while staring into Shane's face and motioning with my free hand.

_"I got tired of waiting  
Wondering if you were ever coming around  
My faith in you was fading  
When I met you on the outskirts of town_

_"And I said,  
Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone  
I keep waiting for you but you never come  
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think  
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring  
And he said_

_"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone  
I love you, and that's all I really know  
I talked to your dady, go pick out a white dress  
It's a love story, baby, just say yes."_

Shane was laughing hysterically by the time I got done because I had even pulled a ring out of my pocket and held it up to him, the entire time grinning as I sang. As I finished the last line, he pulled me onto my feet and took the ring and slid it onto my finger, leaning in to whisper in my ear, "I can't believe you found it. That was a present for you." Flashing him a grin I pushed him back into his seat and the others followed me as I stalked back up on stage, striking a pose as we finished the rest of the song.

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

_"Cause we were both young when I first saw you..."_

"Thank you everyone! That was the Three Musketeers performing Love Story by Taylor Swift! Thank you so much, we adore you, really!" The three of us faked taking bows and waving at our fake adoring fans and blowing kisses for no apparent reasons before we all collapsed into giggles, clinging to one another as we stumbled off the stage. Unfortunately, I hate to say it, grace has never been a favorite trait of mine. Nor a good one. Leave it to me to be the one that falls flat on her face off of the stage. But I didn't care. I was too busy laughing as Shane rushed up to me and helped me up, handling me as if I were a delicate piece of china before I shook him off and collapsed onto the couch.

"Holy crikes, Mi! I didn't even know you could sing! Especially not like that!" Nate was animated as he waved his hands in the air to try and describe how well I sang and I merely nudged him with my toe as I cocked an eye brow while breathing hard. "Does anyone else know about it? Have you sent in material to a producer? You could get signed so easiily it's not even funny. I KNOW! We should talk to Jake or Uncle Brown or someone! Dude, Lava Re-" Shane slapped a hand over his youngest brother's mouth, grinning devilishly at him while Jason smacked him on the back of the head.

"Dude, Brown already knows and so does Jake. That's why I'm giving her private vocal lessons and he's helping her with instrumental stuff." Shane shook his head as I giggled shamelessly. I didn't care that I hadn't told them. Caitlyn and Sierra weren't even making that big of a deal out of it as they relaxed, Sierra leaning against Jason and Caitlyn trying and failing to get Nate's attention. Sierra and Jason were a lot like me and Shane or how we used to be before we became the tabloids new favorite couple next to Brangelina. We were known as Smitchie to the regular world and personally, I found the name adorable while Shane just found it disgusting. "Anyways, I think it might be our time for a threesome, boys. You ready for this?"

Me and Sierra shared a look and Caitlyn was smirking as she crossed hear arms over her chest and crossed her legs. This was going to be interesting. Nate and Jason didn't exactly seem thrilled to be getting up ons stage but they each grabbed a microphone before they ascended the stairs. Shane was already up there, his hands on his hips striking a pose and the boys mimicked him. Standing up, I moved over and pressed play, not even bothering to look at the song before I took my seat again and as I was taking a drink of my water bottle, the beats that started coming out of the speakers caused me to spit out my water as I stared up at the smirking Shane Grey incredulously.

He _was not_ going to dance and sing to Single Ladies by Beyonce.

But it seemed as if he was as Sierra and Caitlyn leaned forward in anticipation, their eyebrows rising high on their foreheads while I started to cackle. Now this was going to be something indeed.

_"All the single ladies (all the single ladies)  
All the single ladies (all the single ladies)  
All the single ladies (all the single ladies)  
All the single ladies (all the single ladies)_

_"Up in the club (club)  
We just broke up (up)  
I'm doing my own lil' thing._

_"You decided to dip (dip)  
And now you wanna trip (trip)  
Cause anotha brother noticed me._

_"I'm up on him (him)  
He up on me (me)  
Don't pay him any attention_

_"Cause I've cried my tears (tears)  
For three good years (years)  
You can't be mad at me."_

Do you know what it's like to see Connect 3 up on a stage singing and dancing to that song? Jason had frozen at the start of the song and hadn't moved since giving Shane the perfect chance to start dancing on him and trying to act like Beyonce in the video and failing. Jutting his hips out was not something he was good at apparently and Nate had just completely given up, his curly hair flopping as he walked backwards and waved his hands at his brother, shaking his head the entire time. But of course, Shane wouldn't let him get away with that as he had walked over and dragged him back to the center of the stage, saying smething off mic really quick and then doing some random dance move. I couldn't stop laughing and I could feel tears prickling my eyes. Sierra and Caitlyn had already given into the tears and the laughter with Caitlyn on the floor and Sierra rocking back and forth in her seat.

Suddenly the chorus came up and I felt the first tear drip out of my eye as I couldn't hold back the laughter any longer as Shane, Jason, and Nate all bent over and started walking like Beyonce did in the movie, back and forth across the stage. It was too funny. I couldn't stop myself as I let out a snort and Caitlyn's head shot up, our eyes locking as my eyes widened in embarrassment and we cracked up again, throwing my head back as my entire body shook with the joy of it all.

_"Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it_

_"Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

_"Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."  
_

Tears were streaming down my face as I lay sideways on the couch, unable to breathe and my sides hurting so much that they were sending stabbing pains up through my ribcage. This was too good to be true. I just barely managed to glance Sierra filming it with her camera, giggling like a hyena the entire time, her nostrils flaring out like a horse. Oh that was too perfect. We would now officially have black mail on them. Throwing her a thumbs up sign, I glanced back at the stage only to collapse into another fit of laughter at the sight that met my eyes.

Shane had pulled out a tube of lip gloss and while Jason and Nate subjected themselves to humiliation by singing the next part by themselves, he put it on.

_"I got gloss on my lips (lips)  
A man on my hips (hips)  
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans._

_"Actin' up (up)  
Drinkin' my cup (cup)  
I can care less what you think_

_"I need no permission  
Did I mention?  
Don't pay him any attention._

_"Cause you had your turn (turn)  
And now you're gonna learn (learn)  
What it really feels like to miss me."_

Shane had started dancing up on Jason again and Jason had paled considerably and mouthed the world "help" at Nate who had tried to pry Shane off of him only to be pretend bitch slapped and Nate had gone along with it, his mouth an O as he shook his head to stare right at us. Any number of girls would kill to be me and my friends right then as the boys did what they did previous, except in the second verse of the chorus, only Nate and Jason did the movements while Shane stood there shaking his hips and his finger up in the air.

_"Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it._

_"Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh _

_"Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it_

_"Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh."_

Just watching his face was enough to send me over the edge as I shakily stood up and dashed from the room, slamming out of it and dashing toward the bathroom. Halfway there I fell down but I couldn't pick myself up and continued to laugh, just laying on the floor spasming as I clutched my stomach. My sides felt like they wanted to tear in half because of how much laughing I had done and the tears were burning my eyes at this point. I could hear someone coming down the hall towards me and I heard heavy breathing as someone helped me to my feet and I collapsed against them, my vision too blurry to find out who it was when I peered up at them. When I finally started to calm down, I found myself able to see the grinning, shining face of Shane and I used him as support as I laughed again, tossing my head back as his hands rested on my hips and pulling me closer to him.

"I love you, you know that?"

That was the only thing I had time to say before he kissed me and swallowed each giggle afterwards with another kiss and then another.

**xoxo**

"Soooo, Mitchie dearest, you never fully explained to us what happened that morning when they published you and Shane kissing. Or why you were wearing his shirt." After karoake we had all voted that we go out to get something to eat and stopped at an All You Can Eat 24/7 Chinese Buffet that had just opened down the street from our apartment building. And of course, what was the first thing that Caitlyn said as soon as we sat down? That. Which in turn caused me to start choking on the drink of Pepsi I had just taken and Shane pounding on my back and causing me to cough after I had swallowed it all down.

"What? I don't remember anything about whatever it is you're talking about." I admit it, when it comes to my acting, Caitlyn can see straight through it. She can see straight through me no matter what's going on, just like then. Sierra could as well and she was smirking and arching an eyebrow as she leaned into Jason who had his arm slung over the back of the booth seat. Jason was giving me a pointed look as well and I knew that he knew I was lying and as soon as I tried to flash a brilliant smile to show I was innocent, he did the unthinkable.

He gave the puppy dog eyes.

It was that look that had stolen away America's hearts and some other countries as well, that damned pout that made him look completely pitiful and made you want to give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be okay. I tried to ignore it. I tried to, honestly. But it's so hard to do when he's sitting there staring at you with these big brown twinkling eyes that are just begging for some loving. And then Nate just had to add his in and then Shane as well. Those three combined together when pouting equals irresistible and you just have to grant their every wish. Because otherwise, if you didn't, you're just plain heartless. So it was with a groan and sigh that I flapped my hands at Shane's shoulder, begging him to stop but he just jutted his lip out even more and widened his eyes again. Even if it was only a mere millimeter, it was enough to cause me to beg for them to stop and relent to their wishes.

"Fiiine, fine, just stop it! Stop it! I'll tell you. Just no more puppy dog eyes." My voice was whiney as I buried my face in my hands and shook my head back and forth. It wasn't fair. They could get away with doing that. But as I pouted Caitlyn just laughed at me and so did Shane, shaking his head and averting his gaze to somewhere in the restaurant.

"Honey, that look so does not work for you." This time when I pouted, it was for real and Sierra just chuckled as Caitlyn reached across the table and hit me on the side of the head lightly. "Knock it off and get to spilling. We don't have all night and I want to hear this. Especially after the uproar you're wonderful little friend Trinity caused in the lobby." At that there was a collective sigh and rolling of eyes, That girl was something else, that's all I really have to say about that one. She makes me want to carve her eyes out with my air quotation fingers.

"Okay well...first off, the reason I was wearing his shirt was because I slept with him that night and by the time I woke up, you guys were already awake and I was cold. I couldn't exactly cut across the living room from his room to my room to get my robe when you, Nate, and Jason had already taken it over with Saturday morning cartoons." Sierra and Caitlyn's eyes widened as they both looked at Nate and he held up his hands for some unknown reason to me while I just frowned in confusion.

"O.M.G. Mitchie Dementia, please tell me you did not have sex with the boy!" Those words were what caused me to choke on the mandarin chicken piece I had just taken a bite of and Shane got the pleasure of pounding on my back again while he laughed loudly. After my coughing fit, I levelled a glare at her while I was taking a drink of my water and she held up her hands as if to say I didn't do anything.

"No, of course not. I slept in his room, in his bed, with him. With clothes on. We didn't do...that." I motioned my hand in the air as if to say the word because in all truth, I can't say the word sex. My mother had always taught me that unless you can say something that you want to do and unless you can talk about it then you have no business doing it. And I couldn't talk about it to save my life. It always caused my cheeks to flare up and I would always giggle as I whispered what I was trying to say if it regarded anything sexual.

So sue me if a fifth grader is more mature then I am.

Both of the girls seemed almost disappointed as they leaned back in their chairs and relaxed. "Oh."

"I can't believe that you jumped to that conclusion. Someone's mind has been in the gutter lately." I waggled my eyebrows at her as I not so discreetely glanced at Nate and then back at her. "Been having some thoughts on the brain regarding a certain someone?" She screeched as she realized what I was implying and tried to slap me across the table but I just ducked and laughed playfully causing Shane to start back up with own laughter as he clapped his hands together. Sierra had joined in with Shane and Jason just sat there looking confused with his head tilted to the side slightly. At least until he saw the bird in the window, then he was trying to coax it inside by smiling and cooing at it. I love the boy, seriously. It's amazing how he finds such joy out of such annoying creatures. Nate had gone pale though and he was looking down at his laps while his ears were slowly turning red and his cheeks were coloring as well.

"Mi! Don't...I can't believe you...oh my..." She was sputtering and after realizing she wasn't making any sense decided to solve that by shoving a piece of orange chicken into her mouth and sitting there sulking as she chewed it moodily. I couldn't help but giggle at her before I shook my head and continued.

"But yeah. We hooked up outside the Lava Records building as proven by the photo and then we went to the session with Brown. Then Shane took me out for lunch and a movie and then we went back to the apartment." I shrugged my shoulders as if it were nothing spectacular even though it had been everything spectacular and beyond. I just didn't want to indulge the juicy details to them while the boys were around and all three of us shared a look stating that we would talk about it later.

Somehow Jason managed to get the window open and had grabbed the bird who was flapping and squawking in his hands trying to get away from him while he cooed at it and petted it, trying to calm it down. The owners were freaking out and so were the cooks but they didn't do anything about it because it was Connect 3. Caitlyn and Sierra were all petting the pigeon as well while Nate just backed away from it, pale as a ghost. He has this innane fear of pigeons for some reason. Which is ironic considering Jason has pet pigeons in the room that they share together at the apartment. Maybe that's why he sleeps on the couch most of the time.

All I could do was laugh as I relaxed into Shane, leaning my head against his shoulder while he pulled me close to him. The arm he had over my shoulder was entangled with my left hand and I felt the squeeze that he gave it causing me to look at him. When I leaned my head back to look at him, he planted a gentle kiss on my lips and I couldn't help but sigh happily and smile.

Everything was perfect.

Just like it should be.

**xoxo**

"Okay, so dish. Immediately. The boys are gone to the recording studio."

We were all seated in the kitchen, digging into the cookie dough that Sierra insisted she had to have when she was dealing with that certain time of the month. Licking my spoon clean, I thought about what to say and I could only imagine what I looked like by the gagging noises that Sie was making. I think I might have looked like a fool grinning the way that I was when I thought about our kisses, how I felt in his arms, the small little things that he did which were just so adorable. Ugh, I sound like a love sick drunk. But then again, I am one at the moment so it's excusable. I

I think.

"Mitchie, dish now. I'm so tired of seeing you smile so love sick like that and not knowing the reason why. So teeelllll ussss." Caitlyn was whining and I couldn't help but laugh as Sierra smirked at her before taking another big spoonful of the scrumptious cookie dough she was allowing us to indulge ourselves on. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

"Okay, okay. Let me just figure out how to explain this. It's all so...oooo!" They both laughed at the noise I made and I giggled slightly. I was always giggling now a days it seemed when before I had never giggled a day in my life except for when I was like, five. "Just, his kisses, our dates, him, it's just amazing. I don't know how else to put it!" I was gushing, I will admit. I was gushing like a fourteen year old girl who had just gotten her first kiss from the "love of her life." But what do you expect? He was just...delightful.

"Tell us about the kisses! What are they like? Is he good? Rate him on a scale from one to ten." Sierra was smiling as she sucked her spoon clean and I knew she was excited about this. She didn't often indulge herself in girlish stuff but when it came to romance, I think every girl has to make an exception. It's just one of those things that all females are addicted to hearing about no matter how much they tried to deny it. Such as my geeky best friend's case.

"Oh the kisses... His lips are so soft and I get this butterfly sensation whenever I know he's about to kiss me and the chills and the nerves and the exploding stomach burst thing..." I was rambling as I sighed dreamily. My lips were still tingling with the after effects of our last kiss before the boys had left. Does that give you any clues as to how deep I'm in with this bad boy turned lover boy? Which, by the way, the media was having a field day with. They honestly couldn't believe that he had gone from being sensational jerky pop star to love struck teenager over night. It was hilarious actually how they stated it just wasn't possible considering how bad he had been. They had actually been forced to cancel one of their videos because he had stormed off the set all pissy like and prima dona like because his personal assistant had tried making a pass at him.

"You are so effing lucky. I wish..." Caitlyn's voice trailed off as her cheeks flared and she dug into the cookie dough to try and avoid the statement she had just been about to make. I was smirking and sharing a look with Sierra as my eyes twinkled. She had it bad for the youngest Grey boy and all of us could see it except for him. Even Jason had been making comments about it. Which was amazing considering he seemed to have no earthly idea about the way that Sierra felt for him. Or maybe that was because he had confessed to having his eye on a girl named Ella who he had gone to Camp Rock with.

"You wish what, Caity?" My eyes were the picture of pure innocence as I laughed quietly to myself while taking another sppon of cookie dough. She was glaring at me and huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest while Sierra remained quiet, her eyes glazed over as she stabbed her spoon into the cookie dough. "Come on, you can tell us. We aren't going to make fun of you." Her cheeks were coloring prettily at this point and she broke her glare away from me and instead glared at the door. For a few seconds, she seemed normal until she gasped and started to sputter which caused me to jerk my head around and glared at the door way where sure enough there stood Nate, who had been pushed into it it seemed by a loudly laughing Shane and Jason.

"Oh...my...god. SHANE ADAM GREY!" I was furious as I yelled out his full name and tossed my spoon down on the counter before I went dashing out of the kitchen after the black haired boy who had already taken off for his room and locked himself in it.

Meanwhile I could hear Sierra laughing hysterically and Caitlyn yelling something at Nate. "Nate Jerry Grey, you had better explain yourself immediately!" I was attempting to break down the door to Shane's room.

"Shane, open this door immediately!"

"No! You're going to kill me or worse!" He was laughing still while I stood there fuming and as I kicked the door and groaned in pain, he just kept right on laughing. "I am not opening this door. I would prefer to keep my manhood thanks."

"Why? It's not like you'll have any use for it any time soon." I couldn't help but snort as I crossed my arms and leaned against the door, gingerly making sure I didn't put any pressure on my now hurt foot. It didn't seem like I had a choice though as suddenly the door opened behind me and I fell backwards, yelping slightly as I started to fall. But I was caught my two muscular arms and I blushed at my own clumsiness while I stared up into the darkened eyes of my boyfriend. Why was he looking at me like that?

"Oh really." Before I could react, he had dragged me into his room and slammed the door shut, standing me up properly and twirling me around so my back was pressed against the door. My eyes were wide and my cheeks were flushed as my heart pounded a fast beat in my chest as I stared at his dark eyes. I'll admit that seeing him looking at me like that made me a bit nervous and more then a little bit scared. "Will I really have no use for them later?" As he said those words, he pressed his body flush against mine and I stumbled over my tongue trying to find a response. But my mind was drawing a blank as I stared up at him. "Because from where I'm standing...I'll be finding a use for them within the next two years if you stick around..."

He didn't need to say anything further as he captured my lips with his and then nothing else needed to be said as we let our tongues do the speaking for us.

**xoxo**

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you dare, Mitchie. Mitch, stop it, don't come any closer. If you do, I swear I'll...I'll..."

Okay to kind of explain this situation, while the guys had actually been gone at the recording studio, the girls and I had decided to make chocolate pudding. We did it just right and when the boys got back, we had it ready and everything. But Nate decided to drag Caity out on a date - I know, finally! - and Sierra and Jason had instead opted to lock themselves in his room playing Guitar Hero. Leaving me and Shane with an entire thing of chocolate pudding to devour.

Go figure he would say he's not interested.

So this had left me pouting while I ate it by myself and then he had done the unthinkable. He had taken a finger and dipped it into the chocolate pudding before smiling at me lovingly and drawing a chocolate mustache on my upper lip. So of course, I retaliated by grabbing a hand ful and putting it on his shirt. Then he had thrown a spoonful right at my face. After that it had been full out war and for the past ten minutes we had run around the apartment throwing chocolate pudding at one another.

Finally I had gotten the upper hand.

Now I stood with the bowl of chocolate pudding in hand and slowly walking toward Shane smiling sweetly. He was backing away with a look of absolute fright on his face. Which I could understand why considering what my next action would be.

"Oh you poor baby, what are you going to do to me? Kick my butt into next week? Too bad, I don't care. Now come here and play!"

Before he could even react as I backed him into a corner, I lunged at him and slammed the bowl of chocolate pudding over his head. Do you know how great it is to watch your boyfriend who acts more like a girl then you do stand there with his hands in the air and his face a picture perfect look of shock while chocolate pudding drips down his hair and onto his clothes? It's greatness ten times squared. Let me say that right now. I couldn't control myself as I fell to the ground in a fit of laughter, clutching my stomach.

Unfortunately my small bout of victory didn't last long as suddenly Shane was on top of me, pinning me to the ground and rubbing his head and face all over my shirt and neck and face. I was screaming as chocolate pudding started to get on me and laughing at the same time. I was finding it hard to breathe as Shane cooed at me. "Awww, poor Mia. Do you not like chocolate pudding? Poor baby girl. Not anything you can do about it, though, is there?"

"Shane, Shay, Shane! Stop it! Stop it!" I was giggling as he continued to smear it further into my clothes before resulting to tickling me and causing me to start kicking in the air. "Hahahaha, Shaaaane." I whined out his name as he pulled back and grinned at me devilishly. I pouted up at him as he stopped tickling me and just lay there on top of me.

We stared at each other as his face slowly got closer to mine and right before he closed the distance between us entirely, he whispered, "I think chocolate pudding may be my new favorite food."

All I can say is that chocolate pudding kisses just might be the sweetest type of kisses out there.

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **So did you guys like it!? Did you!? Let me know, please. No teaser unfortunately. I have to go ahead and try and brainstorm for chapter nine. But leave me reviews! Love you guys!


	10. Chapter Nine

**Author's Note: **Oh my gosh, I feel horrible. I haven't updated in like a week because I struggled with this chapter so much and personally I hate it except for the ending but I knew that I had to get it done today otherwise I was going to come back to you guys throwing things at me. I am soooo sorry it took so long to write it. But here it is and I hope you like it and I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who reviewed last chapter and faved it and story alerted. x] For those of you who noticed, I did post up another story during the time that I didn't post anything for this one. And it was because of that story that I was unable to write because I was so determined to work on this one but I had that idea in my head and it wouldn't go away and so finally I had to give up and just write it. But here is chapter nine of this story! But if you could, please go check out Behind Enemy Lines. It's my newest Smitchie and I think it's going to be amazing. x] But anyways, hope you like this! And the idea behind Camp Rock gets revealed next chapter! And the mystery of Orion is finally divulged as well. Oh my. Yep, big chapter coming up!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything in this story except for the plot, any characters you have never heard of, the song lyrics in chapter one, and the song lyrics in chapter nine.

**xoxo**

**Locked and Loaded**

_by xo Astral Love_

**Chapter Nine**

**xoxo**

June 4, 2009

Yo yo.

Yeah I just said double yo. Got a problem with it? I don't care.

So for the past week or so, yes I haven't updated. But that's because I've been mucho busy. The boys have been too. They've started writing their first song and getting the music track laid down for it and in case you haven't heard, the entire CD is being laid down by none other then up and coming music producer Caitlyn Gellar. She's amazering and if you want to check out any of her stuff, just go to .com. And if you haven't heard, the boys are currently looking for their opening act.

And you will never guess who one of the people being considered for that is.

Me, of course.

I'm sure that most of you have heard at this point that I recently came out of the closet so to speak about being able to sing, play guitar, play piano, and violin as well. I'm self taught. I've never participated in choir except for once in my freshman year. And that was in the background because I never actually showed how well I could sing.

But this year, this is my year.

So you had better be prepared.

Because Mitchie Torres is coming out and I'm going to shine.

**xoxo**

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no...I can't do this. I can't do this. Shane, I can't do this. I just can't." I was stumbling over my words, slurring them together, sounding like I was drunk, and pacing back and forth frantically while sliding my hands through my thick straight dark brown hair almost constantly. The gold coin belt that had become my trademark with almost all of my outfits was jingling on my hips with each clickety clack step I took and for once, I hated the sound of it. It was just setting my nerves even more on edge and as I turned with a desperate look to Shane, I couldn't help but give a groan of frustration before throwing myself on the couch beside him where he sat smirking. "I'm going to do horrible. I'm going to blow it. They're going to hate me and I'm going to get kicked out of their office for making their ears bleed or deafening them for life."

"No you aren't."

"I bet that as soon as I open my mouth I'm going to forget all of my lyrics and they're going to realize right then and there that Mitchie Torres is a nobody." Every single thing I said, I could imagine in my head and if I could imagine it, then it was definitely possible and therefore I was not going to proceed with it just to make sure that those dreadful nightmare like images would never come to fruition.

"No, you aren't."

"If I play any of the instruments for them, I'll probably strum the guitar too hard and snap a string or press down too hard on the piano keys and they'll do that jarararar thing or if I play the violin I'll screech the bow across the strings. Ohmygod, they would hate me for that because if I can't play an instrument then how could they expect me to sing?" I was staring in horror at my reflection. I looked disgusting. My hair was too shiny to the point it looked greasy and I had lines around my eyes and my cheek area was puffy from lack of sleep and I was way too pale. They were going to take one look at me and realize that I wasn't for them. I just knew it.

"No, you aren't."

"Or what if I -"

"I'll just say it beforehand." I turned to stare at my boyfriend who was still smirking, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watched me and I glared at him while I pressed my lips together. If he said those words, I was going to...

"No, you aren't."

"How do you know that!?" I stood up and spun around, my hair whipping out around me in a swirl as I planted my hands on my hips and glared at him. I hated his smirk. I hated how confident he was in me. I hated how he thought that I was going to blow them away and that I was being overdramatic. Noting the latter part of that, I threw my hands up in the air and started pacing again as I rattled on and on. "You have no idea how they're going to react to me and if they're going to hate me or love me. You don't know if I'm going to mess up or if I'm going to blow them away. You do not know at all whether or not they're going to reject me based off of how I look and how I dress. I mean, honestly, you can't just sit there and expect me to -"

And once again, he cut me off as he grabbed me from behind and planted a kiss on the back of my neck where my shoulders meet it and I shivered as I gasped. I hated when he did that. He knew that. I hated it because it was so sensitive and just caused me to stop talking and to shiver and melt into his arms. As I melted into him and let him nibble on my neck, I couldn't help but cross my arms over my chest and pout before saying the three words that caused him to break into rambunctious laughter and me to smile for the first time that day.

"I hate you."

**xoxo**

June 4, 2009

I hate boys.

I hate men.

I never want to see another male for the rest of my life.

I wish they would be wiped off the face of the planet and the women would rule it until we all die out.

I especially hate a male named Shane Grey.

_Shane Grey_ needs to die.

**xoxo**

"Mitch, stop tweaking. You'll do fine."

"But Naaaate, I'm going to suck." I was pouting like I had been earlier as we sat in the back of the limo and I was driving Nate and Shane crazy with the way I was constantly moving. My leg was jerking up and down and I kept biting my lip as well as twirling a piece of hair around my finger. My eyes were constantly shifting back and forth from corner to window to Shane to Nate and then to the floor before repeating the process. I have never been this nervous and scared and excited all at the same time in my entire life. Okay, maybe I had been, but this was serious, this was about the love of my life.

Music.

I couldn't just sit here and be all calm like Shane and Nate were for some odd reason. I couldn't just sit still and hide my nervousness and try to act all chill and normal. I couldn't do anything that was hiding how I was feeling right then. This was way too important for me to be able to do that. Especially since within the past month, I had gone from hiding it to showing Shane new songs, playing old ones for him, not caring if he was around while I was playing or anything. I had even allowed him to convince Brown to give me guitar lessons and piano lessons while he himself had helped me with vocals. And it had been just yesterday when he had unloaded this on me. When he had told me the news that had kept me up late into the night pacing his room and ranting on and on about how I couldn't believe him and how much I hated him and then random bursts of squealing and pouncing on him as I had told him how amazing he was. Of course, this morning I had refused to let him touch me and had sat there moodily glaring at him while I brooded about how much I was going to epic fail at my audition.

That's right, I said it. Audition. He had managed to convince his manager Jake to get me an audition with the music executives of Lava Records. At first, apparently, Jake had laughed at him and had said that I was doing nothing but trying to ride his coat tails to fame. But then Shane had pointed out the fact that I had known him before he started singing. Since he was only seven and I was only four. So how could I have known he was going to be famous back then? And why had I stuck by him after every failed signing? I had never cared if he was famous, as long as he was Shane - I was happy. I couldn't help but giggle as I remembered when I had sung for Jake the day before yesterday. The look on his face had been priceless. Of course, after that, he had agreed whole heartedly that I needed to get into the studio.

Whatever.

Butt hole.

"Mitchie. Stop. It." Nate drew me out of my thoughts as I blinked at him and noticed his face was about a foot from mine and his hands were on my knees and he was scowling at me. Shane had captured my hand and both were glaring at me as I sat there blinking at them. "You keep moving and it's just...annoying." He shook his head as he leaned back and as my knee started jerking up and down again, he grabbed it again and glared. "Mi."

"Okay, okay, fine, I'll stop. Gosh, you guys can't appreciate anxiety at all. Can you?" I returned the glare that he was directing at me while Shane just chuckled and smirk as he began rubbing the back of my hand and distracting me from the glaring match with Nate. "Shane, stop it." And now he was glaring and pouting while we still had our little match and then Nate blinked and I couldn't help but smirk in triumph as I bounced up and down in my seat. "Ha! I win!" The curly haired boy started to sputter as he tried to say he didn't lose, that I had blinked, not him and that was what had distracted him but I didn't let him try and get away with that. "Oh no, no, no. You blinked. I saw it fair and square. No one likes sore losers." My lips curved into a bigger smirk as he blanched slightly realizing what I was about to say. "Especially not Caitlyn."

"What!? I don't care what Caity thinks. I mean, I do, just not. I don't care." My laughter filled the car as Shane chuckled deeply. "I really don't! I...I mean... Ugh! I don't care what Caity thinks because I swear I don't like her like that and even if I did there's no way she would like me like that because I don't know, I just don't think she would." My eyes widened at the sudden one breath outspurt by the poor boy who was blushing from the roots of his small fro to the bottom of his neck. And then the laughter came as he continued to mumble about how he didn't like her, he didn't understand how we couldn't just accept that, and something about how horrible girls were.

"Dude, just face it, you like her." This was from Shane and Nate brooded there silently as he glared at the both of us. I couldn't help but lean into Shane as he swung his arm around my shoulders and I smiled slowly as I shut my eyes and rested my head on his chest. I hadn't noticed my nerves slip away or how relaxed I had become at the comradery between the three of us. It was amazing what being around two of your best friends - minus the fact that one was your boyfriend - could do to your nerves and how comfortable you could become just by them being there. At least up until the driver piped up not even thirty seconds after Shane had spoken.

"We're at the studios, sirs and miss."

"Oh god, Bernard, I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." I was nervous all over again and as I shrunk into a corner of the limousine while both boys smirked and Shane started to reach out to me. "No! No! No!" My legs were kicking and I was squirming as I felt his hands slip around one of my legs and grab there, dragging me forward on the seat while Nate grabbed my arms, my flailing arms, that smacked him a few times before he got a decent grip on them. "I'm not going in there! I am not going in there only to subject myself to humiliation! Shane Grey, I swear if you and Nate pick me up... Oh my God, the two of you are dead! You hear me? DEAD! I know where you sleep at night! I'm going to get you! Just you wait and see! I'm going to get you and you're going to wish that you had never been born!"

Even though my rants were well heard and I was fighting tooth and nail the entire time, that didn't stop my boys from dragging me out of the limousine and carrying me inside laughing the entire way while I screamed out my frustration at them and Bernard - damn that driver - leaned back against the black vehicle and smirked.

Like I said before, I _hate_ men.

**xoxo**

June 4, 2009

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I'm so nervous.

I'm going to fail.

Ugh, I hate my life.

Does anyone want to switch places with me and come live with the triple horror boys?

**xoxo**

Can you believe that only five minutes before when I had been screaming my head off at the boys, now I was sitting there with my hands shoved in between my thighs and pale as all could be as I tried to figure out what song to see while merely rocking back and forth in silence?

Yeah, if someone had told me that, I wouldn't have believed them either. But believe it, because within the past five minutes, I had not muttered a single word since they had carried me through the double doors and into the elevator. We had acted like it was a normal day occurence between us as they had waved at the ladies and I had just smiled my big goofy smile where my teeth overlap in the front. They had just stared. Until Shane had finally said something and they went back to doing their normal thing. I guess they don't see them carry me like this every day.

Whatever.

I don't care.

I need to figure out my song.

"Shane, I can't think of what to sing." My voice was small as I whispered the words and he turned to look at me, his eyes widening in disbelief as I bit my lip and chewed on it. I had worried the skin on it thin already and I could taste the blood starting to form in my mouth, causing me to make a face. I was hoping I could distract him from what I had just said but that didn't seem possible as he hung his head and sighed while I sat there looking pathetic - or trying my best to.

"Are you serious? Mia, in ten minutes, you have an audition for Lava Records. And you still haven't picked out a song..." He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair before closing his eyes. I hated it when I did this to him, made him stress out for no good reason. Like right then. Suddenly he looked up and turned to face me. "What about that song you were singing that day in my dressing room?" While his eyes were gleaming with excitement at the "great" prospect, I felt the blood rush from my face as I remembered.

Orion.

I couldn't sing that. I just couldn't. I had never been able to before. There was no way I could now. I started to stumble over my words as I sat there. "I can't. I just can't sing that, Shane. I can't explain it but I can't." I was shaking my head as his eyes grew concerned for me and his arm came around my shoulders. How could I tell him that I couldn't? There was no way for me to. At least not without breaking down. "I..."

"No, forget it. Don't worry about it." His words were tense as he studied my face and I just sat there shaking. "What else do you have?"

"My song book is in my backpack." Without asking any questions, he started to dig into the messenger bag that I had been known to carry with me everywhere. It was decorated in all sorts of band pins and charity pins. Random lyrics were scribbled on any showing surface of it including what I had always imagined would be my hit single if I ever managed to make it as a singer.

_"Well if you think that this is where it ends  
With me just riding his coat tails  
Honey you better grab that rail  
And hold on tight for deal life  
Because I hate to break it to you hard  
But this is just the beginning...  
Of my breakout."_

But that was all I had and as I stared at the loopy cursive, I knew the lyrics would come to me if I made it. "What about this one?" Shane's voice knocked me from my stupor as I shook my head and focused on him, my eyes looking down at the page as he pointed down at it. Immediately I recognized it. Of course, why hadn't I thought of that!?

It was the same song I had used for every audition in the past. The same song that had won me awards in elementary school and middle school when my parents had first enrolled me in private schools. It had been the first song that I had ever sung for Shane even though he didn't remember it. Why hadn't I thought of it?

_Because it's a part of your past._

"Mitchie, this song sounds amazing. I think you could wing this audition easily is you used this." Even though I was biting my lip and trying to think of something that would invalidate the reason to use it, even though I was trying to avoid looking at him so that way I wouldn't give him, I couldn't ignore the earnest expression on his face and the way the melody came so easy to my mind. I could hear the music even while I sat there contemplating whether or not I should but yet for some reason, it was his next words that caused me to agree. I was going against everything that I had sworn that day at _his_ house, that I would never sing any of my old material ever again, but for some reason that didn't even seem to compute. "When you sing this, it shows that it's a part of you. You won my heart with this, now you just have to win theirs with it."

_But maybe...it could be a part of my future as well._

**xoxo**

I don't think that anyone knows what it feel likes to each and every person who walks through those double doors that lead to either a rejection or an acception of your musical talent. Well some people, maybe, but everyone? You have no idea what it's like knowing that the outcome of your future, your hope for your future, rests on the shoulders of five guys in uptight business suits. That, in my opinion, were hideous. Obviously the poor men had no sense of fashion and if they considered their choices to be one, well, then...

All I have to say is that I'm scared of what type of business the music industry is then.

But I don't think that I made the greatest impression on them either because of the fact that I kind of had to be carried into the room by Shane and Nate and I was screaming no the entire way. I was scared! Can you blame me? I mean, honestly. I didn't want to get rejected by these guys and have my dreams crushed. Which I knew was going to happen. I just knew it was going to. I'm not the kind of girl that you would consider lucky. I lived with the three most annoying boys on the planet for crying out loud. How can anyone consider that lucky? Beyond the fan girls who were in love with them just because of their music. And looks. And the face that they put up for the media. But anyone who knew them? Oh no. I had actually been told by their mother that she felt bad for me because now I was going to have to be the one to keep them in line. And when Kay came to visit... but Kevin wasn't that bad when he came to visit. Their youngest brother was actually more well behaved then them most of the time. But that might also be because of the fact that I had permission to ground him and take away priveleges if he acted up.

But getting back to the point here.

"Nooooo! Don't take me in there! Nooooo!" That was my war cry as we entered the room that held the men that would determine my destiny in the music industry and by the looks on their faces and the laughter coming from Jake, the scene must have been pretty funny. I was being carried by the waist by Shane and Nate had my legs as I tried to claw at anything I could get my hands on. We spent about three minutes in the door way because I had latched onto it and was fighting tooth and nail to keep from going any further. But none the less, they prevailed over me and my failed attempt left my face burning in shame and me scowling at the floor as they set me down ungraciously on the floor in front of their manager and the executives of Lava Records.

"That was...interesting." Jake was still chuckling to himself as I picked myself off the floor and chanced a glance at them before I hid my face in Shane's arm. Nate and Shane were grinning while I was trying to act like an ostrich and use Shane's arm as my dirt. I didn't want to face them. "If you haven't been able to tell yet, this is Mitchie Torres. Shane's girlfriend and also the girl with the amazing voice that I was telling you about." At my introduction to the men that I didn't dare stare in the eye, I gave a small wave as Shane pushed me away from him and instead of looking up, I focused my eyes on the ground. "And she's also the girl who seems to be really shy."

"Hi..." It was the only word I could muster myself to say as I felt blood rush to my cheeks and I pushed my hair behind my ear. But it didn't seem as if I were going to get the chance to sing my song to the floor as Shane nudged my chin up with his fingers and I was finally able to get a good glance at the men in front of me.

"Hello there, Mitchie."

"Hey, Mitchie."

"Welcome to Lava Records."

"How's it going?"

All of the men before me were relaxed and didn't seem that uptight even though their business suits looked that way and one of them was even laying across the length of one of the couches that were in the room and for some reason, that helped me relax slightly as I gave them a small smile. "Now, let's get introductions out of the way and then we can get this thing going, all righties?" Jake clapped his hands together as he stood up and moved to the first guy in the room. "This is Nikolai Alexander. But we just call him Nick. If you dare to call him Nikolai, prepare to be the number one person on his hit list. He hates his name and will try and murder you in your sleep if you call him that." Everyone laughed at that and I couldn't keep my giggle to myself as he clapped his hand down on the guy that was splayed out across the couch. With curly blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes, he seemed friendly although from the murderous glare he sent Jake's way as he moved onto the next one, he didn't seem that way.

"Excuse, Jake. He doesn't seem to understand the fact that not even he can get away with calling me that name." The man shuddered as he straightened himself before standing up and stepping forward with a hand offered for me to shake. "It's a pleasure to finally meet the girl that Shane won't shut up about." My cheeks flared to life once again as I shook his hand and glanced over at Shane who was blushing and staring down at the ground. Had he really been talking about me to these people?

"It's nice to meet you." My words were whispered even though I was relaxing. I was still nervous and feeling incredibly shy due to being faced with a room full of people that I had never met before.

"Nick, shut up. You're making the poor girl nervous. Don't mind him. He tends to shut off his brain to mouth filter. I'm Rexas Reynolds." The new voice caused my head to shoot up and my eyes focused on one of the few that I hadn't caught a good glimpse of and I instantly smiled. Now here was a guy who I could be good friends with. Wearing a bright pink suit and with red and black spiked hair and several facial piercings, I couldn't help but instantly relax as he came up and held his fist up for me to fist pump with him. "Can't wait to hear what all the fuss is about." He was grinning good naturedly at me as I pumped fists with him before laughing.

"Not too much fuss going on about me, trust me. I'm pretty sure Shane has upbragged me so much I won't be able to live up to expectations." This caused another laugh as I glanced at Shane before wrapping my fingers in his and planting a kiss on his cheek. He was blushing horrendously and was quiet but gave me a sheepish smile as I giggled at him and poked him in the side.

"Oh no, you'll live up to it. No worries about that particular thing." Jake was grinning wider as he moved to the next guy who reminded me of that guy from the movie Mr. Brookes. He had the same exact hair, the same glasses, and as he stood up and straightened his suit, I got the eerie feeling that he might have been the guy who played him. "And this is Joshua Brookes. Also known as our resident Mr. Brookes. Just kidding. We just think it's funny that he looks like him and has the same last name as that guy from the movie. You ever seen it, Mitchie?"

"Duh, it's a great movie! Shane refuses to watch it though. Apparently it scared him." I was poking fun at him and he graced me with a glare that I only smiled sweetly at as I leaned into him as the man murmured a hello and a chuckle. Good to know that these guys could take jokes at least.

"And then last but not least is our CEO of the company. Jeremy Watts."

The mention of that name caused my head to shoot up and my face to pale as I locked eyes with a pair of shockingly light ice blue eyes that were dancing with merriment and laughter as he grinned a million watt smile at me while reaching forward to shake my hand. With short cut brown hair and a black and grey business suit tailored perfectly to his body, Jeremy Watts looked just as good as he always did and I almost blanched right then and there. It was unheard of for the CEO of the recording label to take interest in upcoming musical talents that they were looking to sign. But apparently I had been the exception as I weakly shook his hand and muttered a hello. Shane's grip on my hand tightened slightly as he realized that all of the nerves that had slipped away during the past few introductions had come back full force.

"Pleasure to meet you. Both Brown and Jake have talked to me about you and told me so much that I couldn't help but be interested in what might be our next superstar artist." Although he didn't seem to be that bad, I still couldn't bring myself to let my shoulders untense and my nerves slip away. I had to make sure that I gave the performance of a life time for this guy. He was the one who ultimately held my destiny in his hands. I couldn't afford to lose this oppurtunity.

"Please to meet you too." The words had lost the life that had once filled them and my voice was small and squeaky as he shook my hand tightly before letting it go and taking his seat again. The CEO of Lava Records was about to listen to me sing. The thought and realization of it was humbling as well as as heady making. How many other artists could say that he had come to their audition?

"Now, if you guys don't mind, let's go ahead and get this underway. We can talk about contracts and stuff later. Right now, let's just blow you out of the water with her voice and then let you guys get going to that meeting you're all pressured to get to on time." A collective round of groans went around the room at this and one of the men even went so far as to pout at the idea of a meeting and Jake was laughing. "They have a meeting with Lava Records Japan to see about getting some American talent out that way. Apparently out music is pretty popular over there. But enough about that. Mitchie, what are you gonna be singing for us today?"

My mind almost immediately went blank like I feared it would but it was the reassuring squeeze that came from Shane before he slipped away to go sit down on one of the free chairs that brought the words of the song back to my head. Clearing my throat as I shook it slightly, I tilted my chin upward and stared them all directly in the eye as I said, "I'm going to be singing an original piece called. This Is Me. I'm going to need a piano though." Without saying anything I heard a key being pressed down and turned around to see Nate standing by the piano. Nodding my head, I turned and walked towards it, my eyes locked on the instrument but they did dart to Nate who smiled before he walked away from it and took a seat next to Shane.

Have you ever had one of those feelins of peace whenever you were doing something that you loved? Like if you loved swimming then you would get it from being in water, that sense of tranquility. That's what I got whenever I slid behind a piano. And when my fingers touched those keys, it was like everyone around me disappeared and it was only me and the piano and the music. Closing my eyes, I just let myself go with the music and as the first notes reached my ears from the song that was so familiar, so close, so _real_ to me, I felt my entire body relax and I let myself immerse itself in the music that I had created.

_"I've always been the kind of girl  
That hid my face  
So afraid to tell the world  
What I've got to say."_

How true was that? Ever since I was little, I had been the girl that blended into the background at school, the girl that had been primary for picking on when I had been growing up until everyone realized that I was best friends with the boys that had become international superstars over night. And then suddenly, I was liked and popular. I was the girl that everyone knew but no one actually _knew_. And I had hated every moment of it. I had never shown in any way that I was anything special and then all of a sudden, if you didn't know me, then you were a nobody. I had despised every second of it because I knew exactly how Shane felt when he had one of his rare moments and said that he didn't know who his friends were and weren't anymore. And it was all because of the fact that everyone just wanted to know him and be his friend for the free stuff and the popularity that came with being acquainted with Shane Grey.

It had been those moments three years ago when I had finally begun to understand what he meant when he said that he hated the spotlight but it was worth it for the sake of his music.

_"But I have this dream  
Bright inside of me  
I'm gonna let it show  
It's time to let you know  
To let you know..."_

Since I was five years old, I had been convinced that I would be the next greatest thing to walk the planet when it came to singing. That dream had faded over time but it had never disappeared completely. I still had my moments when I would dream about being world famous and adored like the boys were. That I would some day be known for my music and that people would whisper my name in adoration and that I would touch peoples' hearts with my music. And this song had been what I wrote to show to people that I had a dream that I was going to live out one day, that the words I had bottled up within me were words that would one day help someone else get through a hard time like what I had gone through. This song was my key to my dreams.

_"This is real, this is me  
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now  
Gonna let the light shine on me  
Now I've found who I am  
There's no way to hold it in  
No more hiding who I want to be  
This is me."_

Right here with my fingers on the keys, singing my heart out for people that I didn't know, shining like no other, this was who I was. Music was my life and it made up everything that I had ever dared to think that I could be. It was my blood, my heart, my soul, my spirit. It was _me._ I had found who I was so long ago but I had never really connected with it. Had never really delved into the mystery that each and every one of us was. But now that I had, now that I touched the deeply seated thing that within me that was _me_, it was time to show the world that I knew who I was and where I was supposed to be. It was time to show the world who exactly Mitchie Torres was.

_"Do you know what it's like  
To feel so in the dark  
To dream about a life  
Where you're the shining star"_

Every child at a young age has that dream of being famous, of being known by everyone on the planet and about being loved and adored and hated all at the same time. But only a few held on to the dreams and followed through with them. Like I had. It had been so hard at times to know that in the darkness of the place where I held my dreams closest that I was alone in all of its entirety. It had been so difficult watching the boys rise to fame and then Shane take it for granted. I had always wanted what he had and he didn't even think twice of it, didn't even truly appreciate it for all that it was, after he had changed. And it had stabbed me in the heart and twisted the knife when I had realized that everything we had talked about together he was now living and not even appreciating. Bitter tears had been cried over that, of imagining that one day I would be like he was except I would take a step back and breathe in deeply and know what it was that was so special about achieving the dream I had held for so long. I had promised myself that I would be different and now from where I sat now, he had come back to the same place we had first bonded at.

_"Even though it seems  
Like it's too far away  
I have to believe in myself  
It's the only way."_

But I didn't have to just believe in myself anymore. I had to believe in the music that poured from my mouth and my finger tips. I had to believe in that as well as the fact that there were people out there who wanted to listen to this and buy it. It wasn't just me facing the world anymore, it was me and my music and my heart and beliefs. It was all of those combined into one. Me.

Singing those words caused what Shane had whispered in my ear that day to flow back through my mind and my throat closed up as I remembered. _"You don't have to believe by yourself. You have me too."_ Those words that he didn't remember but I held so close to my heart and my dreams. Those words that had been the inspiration for a number of songs when I had been lost and had nowhere else to turn for motivation. Those words that kept me going as I pushed on to sing the last bit of the song that had laid unfinished for so long, missing something that I didn't know about. Those words that caused me to sing the last part with as much emotion as I could muster and sing it like I had never sung it before.

_"This is real, this is me.  
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now.  
Gonna let the light shine on me.  
Now I've found who I am  
There's no way to hold it in  
No more hiding who I want to be  
This is me."_

"This is me..." The last words were whispered as the tones of the piano filled the room and then slowly faded as my fingers fell silent on the piano and I bowed my head as a single tear coursed down my cheek. I could feel Shane's eyes on my back as I sat there in the silence that followed, not daring to look up at the astonished faces that I knew sat there in shock, trying to soak up what they had just heard. But even as they roused themselves from their stupor and began to clap and cheer, I couldn't bring myself to glance at them as I raised my head and locked eyes with the only other person in the room that I could see. His eyes were dark with emotions and I couldn't read them but none the less, I still showed him the small smile on my face as my mind whispered the words that I couldn't bring myself to say right then.

_You believed in me when I had nothing left._

**xoxo**

**Author's Note: **Oh gee oh my. Mitchie just auditioned for Lava Records. Did she get signed? Did they love her enough to do that? And what could possibly be coming in the next chapter? Review and find out when I upload in a few days time! ;D For now, it's off to go work on chapter two of Behind Enemy Lines. Hope you liked it dearies! Please don't forget to review! I love you all. Here's the teaser for chapter ten!

**xoxo**

**_Teaser_**

_"Mia..."_

_His voice was shaky, so shaky, so vulnerable, so filled with concern. It broke me further then I already was as I hugged myself while I knelt there, bowed at the waist and my forehead tickling the grass beneath me while I sobbed out my heart and soul. Why had he come? Why did he have to come and be there for me during my dark day? Why did he have to see me like this?_

_"Mia..."_

_"Shay...why...why are you here?" My words were huskily whispered as I continued to sob brokenly, my eyes squeezed shut as my chest ached with each stabbing pain that went through it with each breath I drew in. I could only imagine what I looked like to him. I could only imagine what it was that he was thinking. I could only imagine what he was feeling._

_"I...I..." He didn't need to say anything as I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I knew that he didn't have the answer. He had come here thinking that I needed comfort, that I needed help. But now that he was here, he didn't even know how to give that to me, didn't know what to think as he watched me in the most broken state I had ever been in. He didn't know what it was he could do to make this go away._

_His arms wrapping around my waist from behind caused my eyes to fly open and my breath to stop in my throat as my heart skipped a beat. But it was his words that broke me and the dampness I felt in my hair as he carressed my wet locks while the rain poured down on us. _

_"Why are you so broken..."  
_


End file.
